Return to Sender

Wheaton North

Seven Day Challenge

Entry Description

It's Riley's birthday and an unmarked flash drive mysteriously appears in his mail box. Thinking little of it, he throws it out, just to have another mysterious delivery hours later. Acting - Riley Jones, Tim Hudson, Ian Grant-Funck, and Eric Saline Direction - Riley Jones, Tim Hudson Writing - Riley Jones Editing - Riley Jones Cinematography - Tim Hudson Props - Tim Hudson

Judge 1

Positives: Really great editing overall. Continuity was maintained throughout the whole story and had great pacing. Moments that needed to be slow such as finding the flash drive, or finding the packages were great because it let our character wonder and contemplate. Moments that needed to be quick such as the phone conversation with the friend had a great back and forth and felt very natural. All of your actors were really great! They played off of each other really well and had strong comedic timing.

Improvements: When the boy on the street kicks Riley, adding some sort of sound effect would've been great to help make it seem more realistic. It could've also added some more comedy to the scene. When he cuts the red wire, it would've been more impactful to have the music end right on the snip rather then letting it continue for another beat or two. This also would've added the comedic timing by having the intense music build and then end really abruptly when he cuts it and nothing happens.

Judge 2

Positives: Well conceived supporting characters who add dimension to the story. Great punch line and effective wrap up of the story .

Improvements: The bomb prop was unclear until it was later mentioned by the main character to the donut eating detective. Perhaps it could have been made more clear what the prop was visually Perhaps instead of talking on the phone to the other characters, the main character could have had in person encounters with the other characters. This would have been more engaging and lent a sense of immediacy to the story.

Judge 3

Positives:

Improvements:

Judge 4

Positives: Good sound details. I like your edits and angle when looking in the box. Good cross cutting between the main actor and the police. Very funny payoff, makes the script solid. The music helps the end with the bomb.

Improvements: There is a strange hushing noise during the movie. While the rest of the sound is good this is distracting. There are a couple of strange camera shots. One is a zoom in on the trash, and the other is a pan down to the trash. There is no need for the zoom on that one shot It does not add to the story, and it a little distracting