Precious Cargo

Lake Forest

Seven Day Challenge

Entry Description

A man walks into a packing store, sees his face on a wanted poster, and has to find his escape.

Judge 1

Positives: Great use of music to build the suspense once the man sees the wanted poster. The beat of the music sounds like a ticking clock and really makes us feel the cruciality of this situation and pressure the character must feel. Great use of the split scene at the end to make us really buy that our character has a twin. It not only showcases a technical skill but is a pretty great shot to end the film with. Its also great that we can see the little girl in the backseat and then the title "precious cargo" comes up.

Improvements: The flashback felt a bit unwarranted - it didn't really click that those were both the same boys and therefore establishing that he was a twin. I also assumed the flashback would let us know why he was wanted for arrest, so I wasn't prepared for the information it was giving me. Maybe a different moment could've been better for this - it just didn't feel like cutting to that in the middle of a huge moment of tension worked. It kind of made the sequence lose tension when it should have been really heightened in that moment. Some of the tension building with the policeman could've been tightened quite a bit. It felt as though the back and forth in the attempt to build suspense got a bit long towards the end. Having the cop ask him where he was traveling worked, but it felt like too much time passed that we actually started losing tension at the end.

Judge 2

Positives: Excellent use of location and casting to effectively enhance the authenticity of a narrative. The police man's presence in the post office is a great narrative element that builds tension. The camera work and use of handheld and pov is well intentioned in relation to the story.

Improvements: The flashback may not be necessary to the story or could have been integrated into the film in a more cohesive way. The title (20 years ago) is distracting and perhaps this information could be gained in a different. The wanted sign could have been seen in a wider array of posters or on a community bulletin board. A small detail, but an important one.

Judge 3

Positives:

Improvements:

Judge 4

Positives: Great choice of music. I like how it helps build the suspense of what is going on. The close shots that you use help put the audience in the shop with everyone. I like how your edits are fast, and try to match the beat of the music. Overall very well done. Great editing of the twins and the two shot of them

Improvements: The running scene is a little confusing, but makes sense in the end. Try to maybe put the flashback a little bit earlier in the story.