Corrupt

Homewood-Flossmoor

Seven Day Challenge

Entry Description

A teleporting adventure

Judge 1

Positives: The opening montage/flash forward does a really great job of establishing the space, the characters and the conflict. The high frequency tone also was a smart way to hint at his deafness without saying it outright. The teleportation effect was obviously great. It not only showcased an awesome technical skill, but demonstrated the amount of precise control you had with your cinematography, and also the continuity of all of the props and other items within frame.

Improvements: The back and forth writing of messages across the table felt like it lasted a bit long. I know keeping those moments a bit longer built the suspense for what exactly this mission was going to be, but watching the characters write everything out, pass the note back and forth and then read it, lasted much longer than it took me to read the text when it came up. Some of the air could've just been taken out of this scene and it it would've upped the intensity. We should've seen the laptop screen light up before cutting to what the screen says. Because the screen was dark, I actually missed the fact that it was a laptop at first and was a bit confused as to what this pink screen was that had suddenly appeared. Obviously, it was easy enough to realize what was happening, but for continuity purposes, the screen should have already lit up to be cutting into that graphic.

Judge 2

Positives: The high pitched "deaf sound" was effectively used to show the character's perspective. The written out conversation titles were also well done, although could have been left on the screen a little longer. The flash transitions when the character moves from place to place were effective and well executed, however their necessity as a story element was unclear. The filmmakers do an excellent job of creating tension and placing scenes in locations/settings that suit their narrative function within the story.

Improvements: The narrative could be improved upon to clarify the main character's goal, the supporting antagonist character's place within the world of the story and the rules context within which the story takes place- Is it a sci-fi film? post-apocalyptic? future? contemporary? none of this context is made clear. Additionally the craft elements of focus and audio clarity could be improved upon to make the execution of the film more seamless and help the viewer to concentrate solely on the narrative.

Judge 3

Positives:

Improvements:

Judge 4

Positives: Great start!! I like the shot variation and the teleportation techniques. Overall your sound design is pretty solid, expect for the long high pitch noise. I like the use of the graphics for the dialogue, keep them up there a little longer.

Improvements: The high pitch noise goes for too long. Some of your shots do not have enough head room. I am not connected to the characters enough, you need to make the viewer feel invested in the people they are watching. Try to give him more of a back story, this will make the movie stronger. Watch your indoor lighting, at times it is a little bit off.