May - August

Lyons Township
Dramatic Narrative

Entry Description

A short film about a young woman who discovers a box of answering machine tapes in the basement of her new home. When she listens to one of the tapes, she slowly realizes the tragedy unfolding before her.

Judge 1

Positives: 1. The idea is very fascinating, having the main character not say a word while all the dialogue is from these phone messages. This is especially intriguing in a world where people actually leaving voicemails and messages hardly ever happens anymore. Very unique. 2. The lighting in the kitchen scenes especially were lit very well! No shadows or odd colorings from bouncing light. Lighting can be one of the hardest jobs and mastering this so young brings the filmmakers a step ahead of others.

Improvements: 1. This is more so a question to ask for future projects or if you want to expand upon this as a short film. Why have the main character just searching for these tapes and then simply preparing tea? Could she be doing something else while listening? Maybe driving? Just an idea on different directions you can steer this fun idea. 2. The end reveal of the messages was a tad confusing. It left me wondering who was sick? Who died? Was this the same woman? Who was this friend? This is the one problem about having characters mainly speaking through voiceover. We can't picture if they are the same person or multiple women characters on the tape.

Judge 2

Positives: The premise and use of voicemails to show a story arc is compelling. An interesting shot selection allowed for well edited sequences.

Improvements: The music took over the pacing at the beginning. While it is a good impulse to affect the rhythm in that section, we wouldn't need that if we go to the tape earlier.

Judge 3

Positives:

Improvements:

Judge 4

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