The Body
Waubonsie Valley
Comedic Narrative
Entry Description
Rick and Donny awake to find a body on the kitchen floor, and look for a way to dispose of it.
Judge 1
Positives: In general, I think this is well shot. Your shot compositions are well chosen to tell as much visually as possible. I especially like the wide shot you hold on at the end in the parking lot. You also have a nice clean ending by cutting to black with the trunk lid closing. You're editing flows well, and you've got a good sense of pacing- giving us enough info to easily follow the story without getting bogged down in unnecessary or boring details that don't advance the plot. Lots of solid work here. From a story perspective, it seems a little simplistic, but I have to admit that the twist of discovering the second body at the end is nice detail. It tells me you've got good instincts which I would encourage you to continue to develop.
Improvements: A few technical details to pay attention to: check your white balance and color correction and keep it as consistent as possible. I'd also encourage you to pay a bit more attention to the rule of thirds when you shoot and edit a conversation. Even more significantly, I'd review the 180 degree rule. In scene where they first discover the body, you were back and forth across the line several times. It's just a bit confusing and makes you seem like more of an amateur than you really are.
Judge 2
Positives: Great cinematography. Was that a drone shot at 1:55? Really cool. Great framing, shot selection and lighting. The story was consistent, I understood the conflict, the characters were worked well together and I liked the payoff at the end. Overall one of my favorites so far.
Improvements: The sound was pretty clear, especially during the outdoor scenes which is normally pretty hard to control. That said, the dialogue was peaking a bit when the characters were panicking toward the end. In the future when you film yelling scenes I would recommend maybe using a boom or even ADR'ing the dialogue so it isn't so jarring. The dialogue in the beginning was fun, but I thought it could of gone a little quicker to give the comedy more "punch." Watch shows like Brooklyn 99 and see how quick their back and forth dialogue is with the characters. Do that and the jokes will land better.
Judge 3
Positives:
Improvements:
Judge 4
Positives:
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