The Studio

Lyons Township

Comedic Narrative

Entry Description

The Studio is a mockumentary style comedy, in the style of "Spinal Tap".

Judge 1

Positives: This is a fun idea, and I think you have some good elements that are in the vein of Spinal Tap or The Office. You have a good variety of b-roll, and you have some good moments when you utilize it well with your character's VO.

Improvements: When he mentions how yoga has mellowed him out, I think you should have shown some b-roll of him in down dog or something. Seeing Allan in yoga pants would be comedic gold. It's actually hard to evaluate the technical areas here because it seems to be shot in an intentionally rough documentary style. So your white balance, focus, shot composition, even audio are all over the place, but that's fairly appropriate for this style. I'd say my real note for improvement would be to find something more clever to say here. It probably sounds mean, but this is the sort of thing that is probably way more funny to Mr. Allan's students than it is to anyone else. We get the joke fairly quickly that he's a hot head in reality but seems entirely unaware or is unwilling to reveal that in the interview. And we just see the same joke in various forms again and again. There's a lot of good work to build on here. If you could find some deeper insight or reveal an unexpected twist, I think that would add dimension to what you have here.

Judge 2

Positives: * Funny, engaging story. * Skilled editing. * Enjoyable "The Office"-style camera work.

Improvements: * Sound balance issues.

Judge 3

Positives:

Improvements:

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: