Anonymity - ID# 139
Oswego East
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description
Synopsis: This short features individuals from various historical eras as they experience seemingly life-changing events.
Recent Teacher Comments
- 3/5 7:29 pm - You knocked it out of the park. Great job of telling such a simple story so effectively. You peeked my interest throughout, wanting to know more, but anxious to see what each new scenario would present. I am amazed at your attention to detail, wardrobe, sound, props, all of it. And in between you treated us with some great cinematography. My only hang up was that the jewelry, and paper after 200 some years was so easy to find. Other than that beautiful job. You should be proud of your work.
- 3/2 4:06 pm - This is a good example of a story with an appropriate scope for a short film. (When I first saw the various dates popping up, I was worried you were going to attempt Gone With The Wind in 5 minutes.) It’s also an example of a story largely told visually, even though is some dialogue in it. Good for you. It’s a cool concept and I think it leaves a lingering impression that natural world around us holds potentially unlimited secrets. Very cool. I think you have some very solid camera work here. Your panning shot of the sunset is very impressive. Your scenes in the forest are solid as well, and I’m impressed with your low light scenes and your day-for-night color correcting, not to mention your animated moon and stars. All very impressive. To nit-pick, I wish your forest shots had more of a film look to them. They’re so crisp that it lessens the illusion of being in the various time periods. Having said that, you do a credible job of creating the different era with your costuming, hair & make-up, and music. I’m especially impressed with your 1926 song choice. Spot on, and nice ethereal fade out. Very ambitious project admirably executed. Keep at it.
- 2/23 2:37 pm - STORY: This is absolutely the best dramatic short film I've seen in many years of video festivals. Your concept and execution are on point - you play with history and characters well, you made a genuinely strong attempt at costuming and props to reinforce each period of history. The ending paid off the most - when the kids find these historical treasures, without the contextual background of each story, they throw them out with the trash. What a powerful message. Bravo! SOUND: Dialogue, sound effects (or ambient sound) and music were all appropriate for each scene, and more importantly, you mixed them well. Great job! CAMERA: Wow! Gorgeous locations and more importantly your shots of those locations are exquisite. Not sure how much time you spent color correcting, but it paid off. The shot selection was very well suited to the storyline. In each phase of the historical scenes, you used your camera shots well to tell the story. LIGHTING: The use of natural light in the historical scenes was well done. In the 1800s scene, I loved how the shadows from the branches played across the guy's face. Your attempt at shooting Day for Night in the 1920s scene was SORT OF working, but you forgot one crucial part of that technique - you never shoot UP (never shoot the sky). If you had kept your frame at eye level or slightly higher than the subject, then you wouldn't have seen the sky in the background, and the day for night effect would have been more believable. EDITING: The opening sequence was very smoothly edited, right up until that abrupt cut at about :57. As your camera shot tilted up through the trees and into the sky, you should have done a dissolve back to the wide shot OR a dip to white between the shots. The cut was too abrupt.
Judge 1
Positives: Story was clear and tied together in the end.
Improvements: Lighting was dark. Some edits were abrupt without sound fades. This could have worked better dramatically with no dialogue.
Judge 2
Positives: Story was a clear and cool idea that was fairly well executed. I thought you did a credible job of creating the feeling of each distinct era. Use of music was especially strong.
Improvements: Some of your cinematography was so crisp that it worked against your period piece. I wonder what your frame rate was and if shooting at 24 frames might have helped.
Judge 3
Positives:
Improvements:
Judge 4
Positives:
Improvements: