Helmet Stickers - ID# 156
Neuqua Valley
News Package
Entry Description
This news package is about our high school football team who put two different stickers on their helmets. These stickers were dedicated to two of our coaches children. One child was diagnosed with Leukemia and the other with a heart disease called DeGeorge Syndrome. This story helps explain what their diagnosis is and also how football has played a role in the coach's and their children's lives.
Recent Teacher Comments
- 3/7 11:00 am - This was a powerful story and the writing & editing really helped the emotion of the story. The sources of footage you either shot or borrowed worked well to enhance the emotion of this story. No issues with lighting and audio was perfect.
- 3/5 3:32 pm - This is really unique story. The various threads are artfully woven together, synthesized to make an effective whole. The b-roll, interviews, and sound bites are well filmed. Good use of cell phone footage to make this story feel personal. The voice over was well written and organized very well. Great work!
Judge 1
Positives: - Great still pictures and home video. - The interviews with the players are very good in conveying message.
Improvements: - I can't see the stickers! There's never a good, clear shot of them. You should also describe the stickers. - Work to vary inflection in your narration.
Judge 2
Positives: Message is clear, as are facts. Very compelling story.
Improvements: Story starts out with narrator saying "the team," but there is no reference to which team. We need this information at the beginning. The narrator is the authority here. The narrator is the storyteller. Sounds like you are just reading the story. Own it. Try telling it instead of just reading it.
Judge 3
Positives:
Improvements:
Judge 4
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