Siren - ID# 174
Eisenhower
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description
A brother is worried about his sister's suspicious behavior and wants to find out the truth. The truth leads to something out of this world.
Recent Teacher Comments
- 3/2 6:15 pm - Probably the best handheld tracking shots I’ve seen in this category. Really well thought out movement in general, and very fluid. Not sure if you had a stabilizer, but even if you did, you still need to know how to use it, and I’m impressed with your skill. Your use of rack focus back and forth between the desk is also really good, but I think you use it once too often in that sequence. Just starts to feel gimmicky to me. Obviously, just an opinion. I’m also quite impressed with your audio mix. You have phone conversations, the girl inside the car, the other girl on the other side of the glass, and then together with your male lead- and they all sounded very good to me. Love the attention to detail. Good music tracks and they’re well adjusted too. Your lighting is not as strong. I’m assuming you don’t have access to as many lighting options as you’d like. But you have some relatively poorly lit shots, which is about the harshest critique I have for you. Your story isn’t amazing, but it’s solid and comes to a satisfying end. It’s kind of grandiose in scale for a short, but you execute it fairly well here. Ditto for your actors’ performances. This isn’t an acting competition, but knowing how to get good performances out of your talent is an increasingly important skill as you advance as a director. Kudos on your strong work. Keep at it.
- 2/23 2:50 pm - STORY: The storyline was interesting, but there wasn't a lot of connections or foreshadowing to indicate to the audience the whole conspiracy plotline until the very end. Also, the relationship between the brother and sister wasn't very clear. SOUND: The dialogue scenes were fine for the most part; there were a couple of hot spots, but it seemed like it was appropriately recorded. The sound effect of the slamming or explosion was too hot. The music beds seemed to be sparsely used, but the levels were appropriate. CAMERA: Was that a 4k camera? The resolution and dynamic range looked great - not sure if it was the camera or if you spent time color correcting. The camera compositions were great overall. There were a few times where you slipped in and out of focus; not sure if that's because you were shooting in Autofocus or if you just had a really shallow depth of focus. The camera movements, especially the tracking shots, were VERY smooth. Not sure if you used a stabilizer or not, but it looked solid. LIGHTING: the majority of your lighting seemed appropriate for each scene. Might have wanted to add a bit more lighting to the last hallway scene; it's okay to be dark, but not too dark, because you'll lose picture quality and get a lot more digital noise. EDITING: the edits were all pretty clean. The use of the dip to black between scenes to show the passage of time was appropriate for the film, but it got to be a little repetitive after a while.
Judge 1
Positives: Camera-work executed well; good framing and movement emphasize tone
Improvements: Narrative a little slow in pace and sometimes hard to follow; sound not always balanced among actors
Judge 2
Positives: Especially strong: camera movement and sound mix
Improvements: Story is a tad broad in scope for a short. Lighting could be better.
Judge 3
Positives:
Improvements:
Judge 4
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