Cursive - ID# 258
New Trier
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description
Writer brings words to life.
Recent Teacher Comments
- 3/5 6:57 pm - My students and I loved the idea and like the creativity and freshness of the story, but at the end we had a hard time making sense of it all. Was this a twist at the end, or did the rules you seemed to establish with the writing coming true just change at the end. You had a ton of creative camera shots, it was edited with a great pace, I didn’t lose interest. Your authentic audio drew us in. Aside from not understanding the ending we all really liked it, keep cranking out more of these just work on the story a little more because while the ending might be clear in your head, know that the first time viewer has a hard time putting it all together. One last thing we were wondering if it is called cursive, why was everything printed?
- 3/1 1:07 pm - This is some interesting and creative filmmaking. Non-dialogue is a real challenge but a great way to work on visual storytelling. Overall, this is quite successful. The set up of the construct is well executed and easy to follow. I have to say, I didn’t get the twist at the end where the creature is beyond his control and destroys him, so it ultimately didn’t work perfectly for me. But I may have just missed it. Your camera work is quite good- especially your use of tight shots and quick cuts. Very efficient storytelling. A few shots, I thought could use more light- heading to and from the fridge, for example, but it may have been your artistic choice. Simple, but effective sound editing. At one point I was wondering if all of your audio was done in post. One detail to consider- I thought the buzzing sound at the end for the creature eating(?) the hero was overly-irritating. I get that it’s not supposed to be pleasant, but I couldn’t find the volume button fast enough. Good work here.
- 2/24 10:48 am - STORY: Simple concept - a writer can manipulate reality with a stroke of the pen. But you explored the idea very well and brought in a psychological component too. Excellent execution! SOUND: At first I thought the absence of a dramatic music bed was a negative, but you redeemed yourself with a very cool abstract use of sound effects to add tension. Well done. CAMERA: The extreme close ups on the paper that are in focus are great; the blurred pan shots on the cursive are obviously intentional, initially I wasn't sure WHY you chose to do this, but I assumed it was a POV shot meant to focus the audience's attention on these key words or phrases. Then by the end, I realized that these were literally creating the scary guy at the end. GREAT tie-in with your storyline, and a superb use of shots. Also, some of the shots of your subject are in nice crisp focus, but one of the first extreme close ups was blurry. Consistent camera work is important - you set a tone for your audience immediately. LIGHTING: Most of your shots are well lit. I actually appreciate the high key light on your subject's face - it provides a dramatic shadow on the subject's other side. EDITING: Great edits - your pace cutting back and forth between the subject and the sheet of paper/writing is on point. The frantic pace at the end is even better.
Judge 1
Positives: sense of dread builds nicely; some of the choices for close-ups resonated strongly o build tension
Improvements: lighting is at times too dark and at other times too flat; could convey mood and tone with more variation and fine-tuning; unclear why it’s called cursive, so thematic could be clearer (perhaps with use of sound)
Judge 2
Positives: Good visually-driven piece. Good, sharp editing. Pace it excellent.
Improvements: Story, though intriguing, wasn't fully clear to me. A few low-light shots were overly dark to me.
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Judge 4
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