Wauconda Bowl Commercial - ID# 377
Wauconda Community High School
Commercial
Entry Description
This is a commercial for a local bowling alley, The Wauconda Bowl.
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/27 6:54 am - I like the pacing and the tone of the commercial. There’s a few technical things that can be worked on. First, show us some type of establishing shot of the bowling alley at the beginning - every after you walk thru the door, zoom out. You want your viewers to know what this place looks like. When putting text on top of video, add a drop shadow to it so that it pops out from the video. Use a tripod whenever possible! Good variety of shots and cute facts (the fitbit one) in the commercial. Nice ending graphic.
- 3/6 7:45 pm - I like how you talk about all of the features of the bowling alley. I also like how you try to keep the video moving along. that being said there are some shaky shots in this video that become a distraction. I also found that the audio was not always clear because the "host" of the commercial was not mic'd and that makes it hard. If you are going to use someone in the busy environment then you need to make sure that they are able to be heard. Also, when shooting inside like this make sure that the lighting is solid. There were times ( the getting the shoes portion as well as talking at :12 seconds) that the lighting becomes an issue. Try to flatten that5 out a little bit. Try to avoid zooming in with the camera, it tends to overwhelm the viewer, and become a distraction. Also, the times on your screen are wrong is should be 12pm- 12 am. Make sure you pay attention to details with a commercial.
- 3/5 6:24 am - I loved the writing in this one. I always encourage my students to put the time in up front into the story, choosing each word with intentionality and you put that time in. Good job, nice puns. Your camera work was generally good, maybe a little more diversity between the close ups and the cover shot, some of your broll had me feeling like I was looking at peoples backsides, give your audience that fresh perspective and put your camera into places they are not used to seeing (ie at the end of the alley, behind the pins, or at least half way down the alley as they are releasing the ball). Obviously only if you are given permission but I am guessing if you are promoting their place for free, they will accommodate your ideas. Also in regards to camerawork I felt like you needed an exterior establishing shot with cars wizzing by so people who know the building, will now have a better idea and connect what the inside is like. Your transitions were not consistent. Sometimes it was a screen wipe with a sharp edge, sometimes with a soft edge, and sometimes just a cut, pick one and go with it, because at times, because there seemed to be no pattern, it was distracting. Try and be more creative with the font, at the very minimum a drop shadow so it stands out against your video a little better. At the end you have a lot of text, try and chunk ideas together so each piece stands out a little more (put a little extra space between location, hours, and price). Also is it a typo that the alley is open from 12AM to 12PM? I love when a student promotes a local business like you did, again great cheesy puns.
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