30 Second Time Machine - ID# 383

Neuqua Valley

Comedic Narrative

Entry Description

Ryan finds a time machine, and also a pretty girl. He tries to build a perfect conversation with her using the machine, but he is unaware of the consequences.

Recent Teacher Comments

• 3/7 11:11 am - I had a few laughs out loud. If only in real life we'd be able to do this from "time" to "time". Would have liked the audio to have been a bit cleaner. Liked how you included the clicking sound while in sync. At the very end, you were a bit off on the clicking to video timing. And finally, a job well done on the music chosen.

Judge 1

Positives: Very simple premise that was executed very well. Subtle but strong performance by male lead. Wasn't overwritten -- trusted performances. Really liked it. Editing made it. Overall, the short had a keen understanding of the art form.

Improvements: Really searching here - with everything firing on all cylinders I would say go back to the script and punch it up (make it funnier). Don't let this comment bum you out -- I'm a writer who always believes things can be funnier.

Judge 2

Positives: Clever and just original enough not to be cliche

Improvements: A couple of jumps in the sound but otherwise very well done

Judge 3

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Judge 4

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