The Fish - ID# 395
Lake County Tech Campus
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description
A fish and a boy share a journey.
Recent Teacher Comments
- 3/2 2:01 pm - Whenever I don’t fully follow a story, I worry that I’m just slow or missed something obvious to everyone else. Having said that, I didn’t really understand how the different elements related. I’m guessing the kid dreamed about the fish which served as a metaphor for having to pass the history test. And then, this might be an animation issue, I’m not sure what happened. It looked like a close up of a closed eye, and then the fish was, I assume, dying underneath the tree. If I got all of that right, what is your overall message. We shouldn’t make kids get an education? We should offer more differentiation to students? Fish should be better tree-climbers? Maybe I’m overthinking it. I have very limited animation skills myself, so you might get more helpful feedback from others about that. I have no issue with your rudimentary artwork, and I thought you got some good emotion with very simple expressions.The music worked for me, and your levels sounded fine. Next time, I’d recommend keeping your word bubbles away from the edges of your frame, so your dialogue doesn’t get cut off. I’d certainly categorize this as a success, but I’d also encourage you to challenge yourself and raise the bar on your story and overall polish of your next animation project. Keep at it.
- 2/24 1:00 pm - STORY: Your story is pretty interesting. However, the piece lacks a dramatic arc. The conflict is apparent, but the conclusion is lacking clarity. The relationship between the boy and his challenges (as well as the fish/dream) need to be more clear as well. This might have done well in the Animation category if the MMEA hadn't killed that category. You should ask your teacher to petition the MMEA to bring the Animation category back. SOUND: Your sound is minimal. This piece could have been improved dramatically through the addition of dialogue, a voice over, or sound effects. Even the music beds are sparse. CAMERA: Since this is animation, it's more challenging to judge camera. But, your compositions are a bit too tight - some of the text bubbles are outside of the title safe margin (they are almost cut off on the screen). Plus, there's no reason why your overall project should be in a 4:3 aspect ratio. You have the opportunity to use a 16x9 canvas, and your resolution could be higher as well (1280 x 720 or 1920 x 1080). LIGHTING: Again, since this is animated and you didn't use real light, it's difficult to judge. EDITING: Your editing is fine, but you could have tied your storyline together better by showing the connections between each scene better. Did this happen all in one day? Did it happen over a course of a semester? Did it happen all in a dream? Editing could have clarified the timeline of your story better.
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