Becoming Callie - ID# 480

Homewood-Flossmoor

Documentary

Entry Description

The story of an HF transgender student.

Recent Teacher Comments

• 4/28 5:29 am - Lower thirds too large, eye contact on interviews is uncomfortable – give it breathing room and talking space, nice supportive interview with Melanie but put on complimentary backdrop not white wall, use tripod for broll, snake your mics for interviews, flat broll – not very complimentary to your soundbites, strong closing
• 4/9 2:35 pm - Nice telling of the story, including the contrast between facts on depression and suicide and the support Callie receives at home and school. Nice editing between and among story tellers. And the titles really help weave the story by leading in, instead of following, the material.

Judge 1

Positives: Really good job. I enjoyed learning about Callie’s story, and I think you did a nice job combining her first person account with expert and personal testimonials. I also appreciated the use of personal photos and intimate b-roll of Callie interacting in her everyday life… it helped to ground the story and engage the viewer on a deeper level.

Improvements: While I enjoyed all of the different interviews, I think it would have been great if you were able to establish a bit more of a visual cohesiveness between them. In most, the background is nicely integrated within the subject’s environment, but Melanie’s is set against a plain white wall. In many (including Callie’s) the subject is often looking off-camera, but in Ellie and Emma’s, they’re looking right into the camera. So in general—just establish the visual palette for your interviews and try to keep it consistent. I’d recommend using a tripod when shooting b-roll (of photos, etc.), as that footage is sometimes a bit shaky. The audio mix when Melanie talks for the second time (2:55) needs a bit of work since the music gets fairly loud at this point. Also, you may want to consider not using the music under the entire piece. It feels a bit overly sentimental… and I think it could be more effective if you used it during major points in the narrative (beginning, end, and segue moments).

Judge 2

Positives: Great use of graphics - very simple. Well told story with data to support it.

Improvements: Music mix was a little hot. Some of the audio edits seem a bit clipped. Lighting on the interviews is a little flat. Try hiding the mic wire.

Judge 3

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Judge 4

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