Pure Life See the Difference - ID# 483

Franklin High School

Commercial

Entry Description

Pure Water gives you what you need when working hard.

Recent Teacher Comments

• 4/27 6:54 am - Be sure to cut out the extra black at the end of your commercial. Good job - very straight forward commercial, but it had a nice use of the special effect of your leading actor fading out.
• 3/6 8:02 pm - Great cuts to the music at the start, and overall really good video. The fade of the runner is really good, and it is smooth when it comes back after she drinks the water. I wish that some of the shots might have been faster and that you could have been even closer to the girl running. My big issue is that you did not remove the black at the end of the video. it is important to pay attention to details if you are trying to sell a product, and something like this could cost you an account in sales. Really good commercial just pay attention to the details.
• 3/5 6:33 am - I really liked the concept of this, I just felt like I wasn’t looking at a lot of original footage, but rather the same scenes over and over again, just with different video effects on them. Try more diverse shots to draw your viewer in rather than the same wide shot that makes me feel like I am looking at everything from the outside. I would have loved more visuals to show the runners face, her feet, that she is losing energy, it is tough when there is no dialogue to make sure the audience is getting the same message that you (the video creator) is seeing in your head. I liked the concept, great twist at the end, but there were a handful in my class that didn’t get it right away.

Judge 1

Positives: 1. Nice editing - i like that the girl becomes transparent until she drinks the water. 2. Good storytelling - easy to follow and understand

Improvements: 1. The VO tag line needs more energy to match the music. The music was a good choice but the VO following it falls flat. 2. Camera angles - Only saw the character from one angle - would have been nice to see her straight on as she's getting ready at the starting line, or other angles

Judge 2

Positives: Great music choice. Good concept...although it took a while to develop and a couple viewings to fully understand. Nice effect on the drinking shot.

Improvements: VO at the end was not in stereo (L channel only) Drinking shot--you did a nice job masking the shot...refine your masks around the fingers of the bottle to totally achieve the effect. You might have also considered her coming back into full opacity from the top down (i.e. as she drinks and swallows the water, she returns to full power). At the beginning, varying up some shots/depth/focus would have brought more energy to the opening scene/s. Get a closeup of her fingers on the starting line, her feet taking off running for example. Move some shots with the beat of the music...

Judge 3

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Judge 4

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