Veteran's Day Breakfast - ID# 502

Franklin High School

News Package

Entry Description

The Saber Academy and choir students honored local veterans.

Recent Teacher Comments

• 4/24 10:47 am - As others have stated, great story arch; that's hard to accomplish when using such a variety of interviews. As others have stated, just try to keep elements uniform; interview titles, sound, etc. My only suggestion is to think of the best possible ending interview or image for your work that will best resonate with the viewer when the screen goes to black. With that said, your final interview falls flat a bit, and rethinking the order or interviews so there's not such a drop off at the end might help punch the ending.
• 3/5 12:20 pm - Nice story. Well written and put together. Some nice shots, but some have too much dead space in the upper part of the frame. Hard to see the material on the screen. Lower thirds are not consistent with the information. Some is first name, last initial. Some are Mr. last name. Some are first name, last name. One I am not sure (La Roy) of the format. Don' have the interviewee hold the mic.
• 2/27 11:27 am - Great story idea, but I believe too many faces. The story didn't get much into the reason why. There were a number of what looked like random shots. Don't be afraid to use some natural sound to make this package be more balanced. You're having the interviewees hold the mic with is a news package no-no.

Judge 1

Positives: - I loved the Star Spangled Banner throughout, Alexis! It added emotion. - Great interviews!

Improvements: - Good job writing, but the first two lines could be more engaging and reflective, rather than factual. When appropriate, strive to convey feeling, as well as facts. For example, you could start like this: "These men (and women?) bravely fought for their country. Students at this year's Saber Academy veterans breakfast are grateful for their service." - I'm curious to know what the students said to the veterans when up at the mic. You could either use some of that sound or you could paraphrase what one of the students said.

Judge 2

Positives: great job on diverse interviews loved the nat sot of the song throughout piece. strong end! good job on broll! good, engaging subject

Improvements: good job!

Judge 3

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Judge 4

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