A Small Cry for Help - ID# 523
Maine East
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description
After a difficult childhood, Matthew has come out on the other side, seemingly unscathed. He has his mother, best friend, and a new girlfriend for love and support. But sometimes the darkness in life never goes away.
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/28 2:48 am - You introduce a central conflict in this narrative, and your protagonist seems to be progressing well in his effort to overcome obstacles related to this conflict. However, at the end of the story, his "demons" return and he succumbs. How might you have prepared your audience for this moment more effectively? Your piece contains a number of effective shots, but some shaky camera movements were distracting. Continue to work on establishing more continuity from one shot to the next. Notice how the ambient audio within a scene changes rather dramatically between shots. When you can eliminate these shifts in your audio track, your editing will become more seamless.
- 3/7 9:05 am - What happened to Tammy? Confusing plot.
- 3/4 2:00 pm - Some nice camera work and effective use of music. Cool effect at the end when he is talking to himself while on the phone—confusing, but cool. The story is very compacted for the 5:00 time limit. Maybe there could have been more of a hint of this other voice earlier. Yes, he looked sad at one point, but this level of desperation comes out of nowhere.
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Judge 2
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Judge 3
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Judge 4
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