Disarray - ID# 578

Lyons Township

Seven Day Challenge

Entry Description

"Disarray" is a dark satirical short film written and directed by Max Abrahamson, and shot and edited by Sean Robinson. It illustrates how one minute detail can have an extraordinary and unfortunate effect on the mind of a very high strung teacher with OCD.

Recent Teacher Comments

Judge 1

Positives: The quality of your sound was really great. All of the dialogue was really really clear and clean. That can be really hard to do, especially in a school where usually lights are humming and a vent is blowing - but you did a great job making sure that the teacher's voice was being picked up well by the mic. The coverage of the students in the classroom worked really well. It was really great that as the teacher looked around the room and accused different students, you could cut to their reactions. It helped to make the room feel full and let us see how the students were reacting to their teacher.

Improvements: I feel like your story was all over the place. I never really understood what the point of everything was. The opening montage felt much too long and separate from what the film actually was. I get that you wanted to show that the room was organized, but it just felt out of place with the rest of the piece. Also, the story never really went anywhere. The stapler is moved, the teacher gets angry, and then it ends. We never come to any sort of conclusion, and the climax felt extremely forced. You basically had the teacher fake a panic attack (which is not really the best idea) and then it ends. If anything, it felt like a scene from a longer piece that wasn't really able to stand on its own. There needed to be some sort of resolution to the story rather than just having it end so abruptly.

Judge 2

Positives:

Improvements:

Judge 3

Positives: The part where the teacher has a breakdown was really good, especially overlapping all those different shots and audio tracks.

Improvements: Needs more of a plot. There wasnt enough to build up to the breakup at the end.

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: