SARAH MOGYTYCH - NEWS PACKAGE - MMEA SUBMISSION 2017 - ID# 58

South Elgin

News Package

Entry Description

Apple sauce gone bad in the school lunchroom; school superintendent responds.

Recent Teacher Comments

• 3/5 1:27 pm - Entry title should be what it is about and should not contain the name of the person entering the competition. This could have been a pretty good piece. You should have had more interviews. Having the Sup. talk on camera and not just show his Tweet would have been much better, or talk with the kitchen manager, or someone else higher up or even GFS. What did the school or GFS say about this? Why did it happen? What is up with the interview image? Did you use a different camera or apply some filters to it? It looks odd and does not fit the rest of the piece. Also, we should not see the lav. cable. It is nice that you used one so we don't see the mic, but run the cable down her back.
• 2/27 11:36 am - I believe this had the bones to be an interesting story, but the way you set up the story was very dramatic for it just being a moldy applesauce. I also believe how you talked about the Super's reaction actually was a missed opportunity for you to suggest he wasn't taking this seriously. Also, kitchen manager seemed like an obvious person to talk to so he/she could explain what might have happened.

Judge 1

Positives: - Great job with an investigative story! I liked the opening lines and the build up to Lilyana's discovery. - Nice use of social media to support your story. Made it interesting.

Improvements: - It's not clear if the moldy applesauce was specifically addressed by the superintendent. We know that the superintendent ate lunch at the school, but based on his tweet, I still have questions. You need to address this question mark. For example, "Sanders tweeted xxx, but didn't explain how moldy applesauce may have ended up in the cafeteria" or "Sanders tweeted xxx, but has not specially addressed Lilyana's moldy applesauce." The other big question I have is whether any other students found moldy applesauce. - I was at first confused about the moldy applausauce video. Remember to always be clear. For example, "Lilyana recorded this video of her applesauce after she opened it." Something like that.

Judge 2

Positives: great broll in lunch room. love that you also included social media in the piece Strong storytelling- love that you set up the location and then present the problem. lvoe the integration of social media

Improvements: I would have loved a stronger visual to end out such a nice piece

Judge 3

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Judge 4

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