Dear Us - ID# 580

Wheaton North

Seven Day Challenge

Entry Description

A short film in which a once-in-love couple's broken relationship is captured in the form of letters and flashbacks of what used to be had the "well you know. If THAT didn't happen"

Recent Teacher Comments

Judge 1

Positives: Using lighting to help tell the story worked really well. All of the shots in the present of them when they aren't together and are sad/angry/frustrated/vulnerable are darker and add to the feelings of the characters. All of the shots of them while they're happy and together are much brighter and more colorful which helps a lot to create the contrast between then and now. Using the writing of letters and voice overs to tell your story was a smart choice. It really let us get inside the characters' heads to see what they were feeling.

Improvements: The writing was a little bit lacking for me here. It would've been nicer to have a little bit more content to what was happening. His letter was extremely long but didn't give us much information as to the current situation. Yes, it gave us backstory to the start of their relationship, but it didn't really seem to progress. It was sort of one-dimensional. Her letter on the other hand, when from 0-100 really quickly and left all of the drama for the very end. Also, I feel like a lot of the lines felt repetitive and could've been cut out. It would have been better to have more concise letters that had more of a punch rather than having dragging them out. While the editing was pretty solid for what you had, I think you could've benefited from getting a little bit more creative with your cutting. I would've liked to see more back and forth between him and her, as well as the past and present. The pace could've been a bit quicker to help keep the piece moving along with the music. Also, I think it could've been nice to intercut them reading their letters. Hearing the start of his, and then the start of hers, and going back and forth so we're getting the juxtaposition of their different feelings. It could've helped to build more tension and really drive home the division between them.

Judge 2

Positives:

Improvements:

Judge 3

Positives: Music: solid choice. Good editing

Improvements: Bad sound besides music. Dialogue was either too loud or too soft. Too many cliches in your plot.

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: