Aww Heck - ID# 582

Franklin High School

Seven Day Challenge

Entry Description

A forgetful High School rushes to finish an essay the morning it is due. Will he turn it in on time?

Recent Teacher Comments

Judge 1

Positives: Great use of music to build tension and energy throughout! And the cutting in and out of the music - when the printer is taking forever, or after the garage opens - is a really smart move to both add humor, and balance out the pacing of the upbeat music. There was a very consistent tone throughout the entire pice which worked very really to make each part feel cohesive. The dry humor worked well, and it was really successful when you would create comedy visually -- like when the garage opens and there's a really long pause before he finally rides out on the bike. Great way to take advantage of your visuals to create comical moments.

Improvements: I was hoping for a more complex reveal at the end. We've all seen this scenario before - that it turns out the essay wasn't even due - and I wanted more of a payoff or more of a reaction at the end. After we find out that this was all for nothing, the actor only reacts for a second before it ends. This could have been more dramatic since you had so much buildup. When you create that much tension, there must be a climactic moment, and this one fell flat. All of the running around could have been cut down a little. I would have like to see less of him biking or running, and more meat to the story - either at the beginning or the end. Since the majority of the piece is this rushing around montage, it sets us up for an even bigger moment at the end which then didn't really happen.

Judge 2

Positives:

Improvements:

Judge 3

Positives: Funny. I liked the delayed action with the bike in the garage and the twist at the end. Work more jokes into it to make the project funnier overall.

Improvements: Kinda boring. Not much happens. Just a kid "doing" a paper.

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: