Vindication - ID# 594

Deerfield

Seven Day Challenge

Entry Description

A teenaged girl struggles with an abusive relationship- until there is vindication.

Recent Teacher Comments

Judge 1

Positives: Smart idea to have the door shut before the fight -- this meant you didn't have to try to fake a hit that probably wouldn't have looked real anyways, and it also keeps the piece from becoming to violent. Having the sound of the hit after the door shut was just enough to tell us exactly what happened without having to show it on screen. For the most part, your shots had great composition, lighting and color - especially everything that took place in the school. It made the piece feel more polished. Also, the choices to frame certain things out felt very purposeful which was great.

Improvements: The sound quality of your dialogue is pretty rough. I had a hard time understanding what the characters were saying a lot of the time because of all of the background noise, or the character's distance from the microphone. The scenes with music under them then made it even harder to distinguish what they were saying. The shots of the boys walking down the hallway after the tutoring session felt a little bit out of place. Since we had only seen the boyfriend driving the car, I hadn't seen his face straight on and didn't recognize him right away when we saw him and the other boys in the hallway. Also, we see him walk up to a doorway, but it would've been helpful to cut back to the girlfriend and the tutor from his point of view, and then cutting to the boyfriend's angry reaction as he walked away. A bit more coverage and cutting back and forth would've helped to clarify this moment.

Judge 2

Positives:

Improvements:

Judge 3

Positives: I like that you didnt actually show the abuse happening. That type of action doesnt always need to be shown, and I think it was smart of you not to do that.

Improvements: Pretty boring plot. Could add more in the middle to make the ending more satisfying for both the main character and the viewer.

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: