Perceptions - ID# 596

Riverside Brookfield

Seven Day Challenge

Entry Description

A man in a dead-end job reflects on a special childhood friendship.

Recent Teacher Comments

Judge 1

Positives: Great opening with the overlapping sound to build tension and create what's going on in the characters head. The way you cut to the flashbacks was very smart and it worked really well. Having certain actions, items, or sounds act as a motivator to cut to the flashback really put us in the point of view of your character, and helped us understand what he was thinking.

Improvements: I wish the end could have been a bit more climactic. After all of the tension built by the cutting back and forth between the past and the present, I wanted the resolution to be bigger. After the letter from Emily, I feel like it could have helped to see them reunite at the zoo to really have the film come full circle. I was a bit confused by the moment of Theo trying to give Emily the picture he drew. He goes to walk outside and the door is shut on him? He looks at Emily through the window but then we see him outside in front of her house moments later? This could have just used some clarification.

Judge 2

Positives:

Improvements:

Judge 3

Positives: Interesting narrative structure. I like that there was a new memory with each staple.

Improvements: Dialogue was too soft. Music overpowered it throughout. Made it tough to follow at the beginning because I couldnt really hear what the guy was saying

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: