Cold Metal - ID# 599

Huntley

Seven Day Challenge

Entry Description

HHS- TV presents "Cold Metal".

Recent Teacher Comments

Judge 1

Positives: The writing was the strongest part of this piece by far! You nailed the type of humor your were going for and kept the tone really consistent throughout - which can sometimes be hard to do. Very creative script - way to think outside of the box! Great use of sound to help tell the story. The cutting back and forth between what the detective is thinking inside of his head and what he's actually saying out loud worked really really well to put us in his shoes. Hearing the music come in during the first scene was also very funny. You also used sound to your advantage for the sound of the staplers which was really smart. It saves you from having to try to fake it on screen, but still gives us all the information so we know exactly what is happening.

Improvements: There were a few jump cuts that were fairly distracting throughout. The ones that were most noticeable were when you cut between two shots from the same angle when your characters are in the same place - but are doing something different. For example, cutting between the detective saying "ow, you're a mean little stapler" to him grabbing the staple out of his pocket. You could have fixed that by in between them either going to a reaction shot of the stapler, or using any other angles you had of the detective so it wasn't as jumpy. You have to be a little careful about lighting for a film being shot in color if eventually you're going to make it black and white. There are a few shots when the highlights were really blown out. For example, in the detective's office, the windows behind him are so bright you can't even see any detail, and they distract from looking at the detective. This is also true for the exterior shot where the detective punches the guy outside of the bar. Skin tones, the detective's trench coat, and the bad guy's shirt are so bright they distract from what's going on.

Judge 2

Positives:

Improvements:

Judge 3

Positives: Humor worked really well, especially as someone who likes noir films.

Improvements: Sound, specifically dialogue and the narration, was overall pretty bad. Music was off, dialogue was either too soft or too loud.

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: