No Talking While Working - ID# 590
Vernon Hills
Seven Day Challenge
Entry Description
Tragedy strikes two men working in a newspaper business in 1960.
Recent Teacher Comments
Judge 1
Positives: It was very creative to decide never to show the faces of your characters throughout the whole movie. I think it helped to build the tension throughout as well as maintain the mystery of who these men are. Since Frank doesn't know much about who Vinny is, it worked really well that we didn't know either. You were really smart about the use of your props. It was cool that you made the stapler very important without having it be important at all. By making it fit in with their job, it felt very natural in this environment rather than feeling out of place. This way, even though it was constantly being used, it wasn't distracting - it was a very subtle way to make the prop a part of the world of the film.
Improvements: Since the entire piece takes place in one location and isn't made up of too many different shots (mostly just hands, table, and newspapers), it could've been shortened a little bit. Some of Frank's dialogue went on too long and ended up getting a little bit repetitive. I think it could've benefitted from cutting a few of the lines and tightening up some of the repetitive lines to make what Frank was saying have more punch. You could've gotten a little bit more coverage that would have given you the ability to cut between more angles are quicken the pace a bit more. For example, extreme close ups of words on the page, or tighter shots on the stapler when Vinny is hitting it but it isn't working. Also you had wide shots of them and the table from the front, but you also could've gotten wides from behind them, or maybe even of their feet? Just so that you could've been cutting more often and making the visuals more dynamic.
Judge 2
Positives:
Improvements:
Judge 3
Positives: Creative premise, build on it more
Improvements: Sound is all over the place, either too loud or too soft
Judge 4
Positives:
Improvements: