The Wall - ID# 600
Lake Forest
Seven Day Challenge
Entry Description
Based on a true story of a legacy from one generation to the next in the midst of Alzheimer's disease and choosing to move on.
Recent Teacher Comments
Judge 1
Positives: Great script! All of the dialogue felt super natural and was very fitting for the characters. I also loved how you had the storyline of the girl and her grandma so interconnected which also contrasting their differences. Overall, the script was super strong, and the plot line had a great opening, rising action, climax and resolution. Great work. All of your shots and camera movements worked really well with both the editing and the music to help tell the story! Overall the piece felt incredibly polished and put together. All aspects of the piece worked together really well.
Improvements: One of the only things I could nitpick here is that maybe the piece could be trimmed down a little? Some of the scenes just felt a little lengthy. For example, the opening that was cutting back and forth between the girl getting ready and the grandma in the kitchen could have been cutting back and forth quicker. The pacing could have just been ramped up a little too drive home more quickly that you were juxtaposing the girl and her grandma. It could have just been trimmed down and tightened up a little - but it doesn't need much! Another very minor thing that could have been improved upon was the sound. All of your dialogue was very clear and the volume was always great, but sometimes the background room noise was a little distracting. It became most apparent when cutting between 2 shots that had room tones that were at different levels - so even if you can't remove that hum, if you can make it consistent between cuts it becomes a lot less noticeable!
Judge 2
Positives:
Improvements:
Judge 3
Positives: Absolutely amazing. Great connection between you and your grandmother. Whether all of this is based in reality or not, you made it feel that way. I felt like I was watching the perfect mix between fiction and non-fiction (I mean that in a good way) Good use of subtle visual clues to connect yourself to your grandmother without explaining it through exposition. This is beautiful. I'm unsure if you are actually going to the college in the video, but I hope you have the most success there!
Improvements: Nothing. Great job!!!!
Judge 4
Positives:
Improvements: