Notice the Signs - ID# 110
Homewood-Flossmoor
Division: A
Public Service Announcement
Entry Description
PSA for eating disorders.
Recent Teacher Comments
- 3/13 10:59 am - The spurradic natural audio in the first half doesn't add to the story, and is a bit distracting. Chip bag opening audio is great--very relatable. Chip bag imagery at the end adds impact to the closing.
- 3/13 10:58 am - Great shots of the subject 'noticing' the food. Makes a great connection without saying anything. Lower lighting helps set a subdued/troubled tone.
- 3/13 10:58 am - Great opening-- the running symbolism and the sense of being 'tired' at :05 are strong. Good closing connection to a resource. Class scenes are very natural looking--good acting & directing.
- 3/12 10:19 pm - Positives:Very good narrative PSA. This was a slow burn to introduce the problem, but it was very well done. Your story was expertly told. The camera shots were stylized and well composed. I liked the grainy, crushed, colorized treatment you gave the piece which helped introduce the mood and tone of the PSA. The statistics were well chosen and presented. Music was appropriate, well mixed and not distracting. Improvements: The in-class audio appears to pop in at the wrong moment. I'm not sure if that was a mistake or not, but it felt off. As much as I liked how your title popped up once the chip bag fell to the floor, I'm not sure you needed titles at all. What you really needed was voice over. It's too much to ask audiences to read that much, and doing it loses the impact of the message you took so long to produce. Also, do a better job of citing your statistics and providing a cited organization for audiences to research on their own or to use to get help. The phone number is great, but who's phone is it? Which organization does it represent? This information is required for any PSA to be successful on the market.
- 3/3 10:07 am - Positives: I love the message. I love how you present it. I like how you drop the bag and bring up your most important stat. I like how the music sets the tone. I really liked the shots. I thought they flowed really well together. Nice job hiding logos and product names. Your stat is good. I researched it on two different sites.
- 3/3 10:06 am - Improvements: The audio from class was distracting. I didn't think this needed much real audio, but you could have used any audio for another class moment if you wanted sound. What does calling that number do? Where does it go? Don't just give us a number. Tell us what hotline we are calling. And you could add a voice with the text to reinforce the messaging a bit more.
Judge 1
Positives: The sequence of eating the dorritos and then running into the bathroom worked very well. Nice selection of camera shots and angles here.
Improvements: I'm not sure the first 30 seconds were even necessary. Instead of showing her jogging alone and putting up her hair in the bathroom alone and sitting in class quietly listening to the teacher, show her interacting with people because otherwise who is supposed to be the ones who "notice the signs"? She could be sitting with her friends and they are talking about whatever and she is eating the dorritos and when she finishes she excuses herself and gets up and runs off and her friends watch her and then look at each other and finish with the bathroom sequence.
Judge 2
Positives:
Improvements:
Judge 3
Positives: performance and editing worked well.
Improvements: Some color-correction might give some of the duller-looking scenes some life.
Judge 4
Positives:
Improvements: