Indiana House Bill 1055 - ID# 127

Crown Point

Division: A

News Package

Entry Description

Indiana House Bill 1055 mandates all Indiana school districts to allow military attire at graduation. This bill was authored after Crown Point High School decided to deny Private Jacob Stanley the opportunity to walk across stage at graduation becuase he refused to wear the traditional cap and gown.

Recent Teacher Comments

• 4/25 9:57 am - Strong opening standup. Love that you shot your own courtroom broll. Not really a fan of how you framed your opening interview. I appreciate your ambition with trying to get a different shot but that angle should really only be used when shooting a multi-camera interview. Really like what you did with your phone interview – solid graphics! Like that the progression in your standups – you went from outside with your coat to inside with coat off.
• 3/12 8:53 pm - Opening standups are tough only because they feel like they basically steal the storytelling that will come later. In this case, you did hold back info for the story and I appreciate that. I also like that you went to a location for the standup that matched the story. The story has too much narration and it goes on for a long time. The opening shots of the Indiana House got a little boring as did the random b-roll shots of graduation. I would watch out for using too much people talking at a podium while you are narrating as it looks like they are saying what I'm hearing. The interview with the Major was a good idea, but the execution of that rolling soundbite was hard to follow on the screen as words blurred. Don't need bookend standups, one is plenty. This isn't a live story which is where you typically see the two stand-ups.
• 3/2 10:26 am - Nice stand-ups that are framed well and spoken with purpose; video matches reporter track; photo is a great touch for displaying student and phone interview; variety of interviews; topic of story is good and reporter uncovers information that goes deep into the issue.

Judge 1

Positives: Very well written researched and produced package. Topic was fascinating and covered very well.

Improvements: Student interviews would've been a nice touch. Some lighting inconsistencies on interview pieces.

Judge 2

Positives: Great job at getting interviews-- even if you couldn't get them on camera- shows good investigative work to present different perspectives Great topic- engaging and interesting. Good use of 3rd party footage

Improvements: At the beginning of the piece- i would more clearly set up why there was a controversy at the top instead of the middle of story I would have loved to hear some interviews of some of the students on their perspective to add some more opinions!

Judge 3

Positives: Good use of nats of graduation scene. Good story and overall constructed well. I would have considered added a few students as well. Very poised in the standup open and close. I encourage you to speak more conversationally -- it felt a bit memorized. Important to picture yourself telling a story to a friend or co-worker, as that helps to improve your cadence and speech.

Improvements: Would have shot the interviewee a bit tighter – shouldn’t be looking at the reporter’s ear. It would have been stronger to see Major Eller -- even a skype interview could have worked. Would have been nice to get him on camera and use vids over of graduations. The idea of putting his words on screen was a good one -- I wasn't a fan of the blurring/moving portion though -- I found it distracting.

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: