Shotgun - ID# 13

Oak Park River Forest

Division: AA

Dramatic Narrative

Entry Description

Directed, shot, and edited by Liam Loughran Production Assistant: Gabe Darley Starring: Galvin Loughran and Peter Alkaraki

Recent Teacher Comments

• 4/2 11:32 am - Shotgun Excellent opening sequence Clever title, good original story Nice transition from music to amber alert Really loved smooth shifts in mood, between bright/cheery and dark Excellent drone shots Good use of available lighting Cool switch from night shot to day shot Excellent sound design Good use of motion Smooth tracking shot in restaurant Very good use of humor Excellent shot variety Good character development Good use of color to set mood
• 3/11 12:50 pm - Story: I’m guess you’re the kid who made that interview film last year that I thought was brilliant. You killed it again this year. I love almost everything about this. If there’s a thing to critique about the story, it’s the end. Feels a little bit like a “To be continued” episode. If this is, in fact, the end of the film and the guy is keeping the kid (or taking him back or whatever), I feel like there could be a line of dialogue or a cut away to him driving saying something to the kid that would put a little bit of a button on it. Camera: Awesome stuff all the way around. The tracking shot in George’s is very slick and impressive. You’ve also got pretty sophisticated drone skills. Anyone can pull off the overhead shot you have early on, but the final shot is pretty subtle and beautifully executed. Too much good stuff to mention. Lighting: Good work even in your low light situations. Sound: Strong work throughout. Love the cut outs for the bottle feedings. Editing: Another super impressive job with your editing. Slick. Original, Funny. Fluid. Great stuff. Final Thoughts: NYU or USC would be lucky to get you.

Judge 1

Positives:

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Judge 2

Positives: The transitions and overall flow were exceptionally well done. The story was effectively communicated visually, and the music cutting in and out really added to the viewing experience. The cinematography (especially the diner shot and the last shot) were amazing.

Improvements: The kidnapping aspect of it could be clarified a tad - the main character says he wants his money “up front”, but this implies he should have gotten paid before he even kidnapped the baby in the first place (unless he’s referring to the potential ransom money?). Also, I was thrown off when the car seat gets moved from the back seat to the front seat.

Judge 3

Positives: Just about everything works well here. Your sound mixing and camera work are especially strong, but your story, acting, editing are all in the neighborhood of excellent. Your tracking shot in the diner is impressive, as is your final drone shot. Really cool stuff. Just as impressive to me are your many insert shots that you use to develop character, advance the plot, and create mood. One of the most sophisticated student films I've ever seen.

Improvements: I appreciate the clarity of your plot, and I think it's exactly right in terms of scope for a 5 minute short. My only quibble is that I might want more clarity around the decision he makes at the end. Is he returning the kid? Keeping him? Or maybe if he got right up to the moment of handing him over before changing his mind the impact would be more profound. Not sure.

Judge 4

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