A Story of Strength - ID# 134

Neuqua Valley

Division: A

Documentary

Entry Description

A documentary telling the story of Crystal Corbin's journey through leukemia. The video includes the things that kept her going, as well as the various bumps in the road along her journey to recovery.

Recent Teacher Comments

• 4/23 7:44 pm - Not enough nose room for every i’view. Need lots of b-roll - shots of hospital, house, family walking around house, etc. Even your great sound bites need visual support - or else it’s just a great Radio story.
• 3/12 7:03 pm - I wish you did not put your interviewees against the wall, but the story has a great structure: things get worse before they get better. And the story has a resolution. I love your use of broll.
• 3/7 2:06 pm - Powerful story - and brave subjects and filmmaker!!! Crystal interview not dynamic composition- eyeline is flopped, shadow on wall behind her. I recommend using a light kit for a documentary. The dad interview is also dark. This interview also haas skewed eyeline. Major framing and eyeline problems with the dr. interview shot. Audio levels inconsistent. Cutaways are short- consider a montage rather a single still cutway to make an audio cut. Contemporary creative b-roll is missing. A powerful story, but it lacks as strong emotions as we’d feel as if we read it in an article rather than viewed it.

Judge 1

Positives: I love the story and really felt a connection to Crystal and her parents. Crystal telling her story from her young perspective is priceless. The details and parent perspective cut together with Crystals interview really told the story in a way that will speak to the viewer - no matter what age they are.

Improvements: The interview framing was off... Each interview subject was looking off camera in the wrong direction. If a subject is framed center-screen left, they should be looking center-screen right. There were a few rough audio edits but overall decent sound that really needed some subtle music throughout. Also, when using Broll such as the doctor office or new puppy, you should always use natural sound.

Judge 2

Positives: Excellent use of stock photos. Great narrative structure.

Improvements: Cinematography and sound could be improved.

Judge 3

Positives: The film balances the need for intimate access to the subject with the difficulties of making a highly personal film and the filmmaker has done an excellent job taking herself out of the story in order to focus on her sister. The structure of the film allows for twists and turns in the story that are unique, such as Crystal’s first doctor passing away and her connection to dogs at the end. These increase our engagement with the subject. The interview with Crystal’s mother is especially poignant because of her emotional intensity reflecting on her child’s illness.

Improvements: The credits in a short film only need to appear once and preferably at the end. The only other thing to consider would be to branch out interviews to include one person on the subject’s care team rather than focusing exclusively on family.

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: