The Return - ID# 132

Neuqua Valley

Division: A

Documentary

Entry Description

This Documentary is about an aspiring tennis player who had to end his career due to an injury. He recently decided to try playing again. So, this is his story.

Recent Teacher Comments

• 4/23 7:11 pm - Good mix of locations, shot variety & old pix. Use dissolves in/out of pix to maintain mood. Need transitions. No real ending.
• 3/12 6:36 pm - Great opening sequence - the "Rocky" underdog theme with the hood and the title, money sequence and it keeps coming back as a theme - very, very thoughtful and well done. Very creative broll and well shot. I wish you used nat sound from the game during the sequences. It would have ended an extra layer. I also wish you picked the setting for your interviews a little more carefully - chair against a yellow wall? What about the tennis court, or something close to it. There is a moment when we hear nat sound, but you overpower it with music. Story is well crafted! Keep making films!
• 3/6 1:43 pm - Powerful opening, music may be a little too heavy handed though. Interview shot solid- but the light switch on the left is not ideal. You should film with a lighting kit for a documentary... You have some gain kicking in during the tighter shot. Not sure what school he’s talking about initially - more context needed for the lay viewer. Some handheld camerawork is shaky. 1: 26 awkward still jump cut… Should have nat sound and drop down the music track. The turn to soccer is not smooth as the same music continues; a greater segue needed. Tennis montage at end is shaky… The overall doc would be stronger if shorter and you had more than one single music track… Good job telling a story with a beginning, middle, and end, although I',m not sure what we're supposed to feel at the end with his... return (not very triumphant).

Judge 1

Positives: I liked the structure of the story, I became interested in the main character right away. The open was done well and transitioned into the story well. Very detailed and decent use of broll and photos (I really wanted to see footage from younger years) Music choice was spot on.

Improvements: Overall a great story and told well... Tech notes: Spend a little more time lighting for the interview. Subject seemed dark in relation to the background. In post, consider turning off the video tracks and just listen to the story... you will really notice each and every audio issue on edits and or levels. There were a few. Take a bit more time on color correction of the photos, there were a few that needed it. The section breaks where you used soccer and tennis footage were a little long - a soundbite or full natural sound with a Nat sound pop would have helped a lot.

Judge 2

Positives: Music set the mood well. Great use of stock photos and broll footage.

Improvements: The story is not compelling enough. Interview could have been filmed better.

Judge 3

Positives: The opening and ending visual sequences are very well done. This is a great introduction to our main character and the topic of the film and the ending also lets the audience connect to the subject and his love for tennis. Effective choices to not have wall-to-wall voice over from beginning to end.

Improvements: From the beginning the music is too prominent and leading. When the character begins talking about his injury and aborting his dreams with the sport, he becomes far less comfortable. A pre-interview to have him ‘rehearse’ the painful part of the story would help him relax, slow down and continue with the same thoughtfulness as at the beginning of the film.

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: