Cyberspace Lazer Tag - ID# 145

Neuqua Valley
Division: A
Commercial
Entry Description

A commercial for Cyberspace Lazer Tag.

Recent Teacher Comments

  • 4/24 5:54 pm - Great fast paced editing. Variety of different types of camera shots. Great information at the end with location and website.
  • 4/20 10:11 am - Music worked perfect for the business that is advertised. The editing is excellent and the quick zooms and rotations work. The text is great because it makes me think of video games, but it is not so great to read when it is taking up the entire screen. Maybe just using it during the arcade games segment would have been enough, and something closer to the Cyberspace font for the rest. You did a perfect job capturing all there is to do at the place in such a short time. Great video overall!
  • 3/8 7:04 pm - SOUND Music was great and fast paced. STORY There may have been no dialogue, but your video flowed in a very logical way… Establishing shots, arcade games, food, lazer tag. Sure the titles helped tell that story but your visuals did an excellent job of that too. I liked that you kept the lower key of the place spinning and part of the commercial throughout to remind your audience what this is all about. I might suggest a white drop shadow on it to make it pop a little more when over the darker backgrounds. CAMERA/VISUALS Excellent. Great variety, and considering you are filming in generally a dark place you manage to pull out the activity. Loved the color accents whether you filmed them that way or in post it really brought dimension to what would otherwise be a dark video. EDITING Again, Excellent pace moved perfectly. Each time I look at your commercial it reminds me of a well laid out newspaper page where the viewer is controlled to see things in the order the creator wants them to. You did a great job with the movement, zooms, etc. I feel like you saw everything you wanted me to see because you were intentional about everything you did . Great Job. You communicated so much without saying a single word.
  • 3/8 10:14 am - The lighting for the opening shot could be better. Also, can you look at your text to have it read a bit more clear? Try a different color or a drop shadow. Other than these two tiny things, this is excellent. Great job.
Judge 1

Positives: 1. I liked the camera angles, very unique and interesting views. 2. Very well done storytelling with how dark the environment is, good use of the lighting.

Improvements: 1. I would have liked a VO end tag "Cyber Space Lazer Tag" 2. I would have liked to see more of a human element, maybe a laser tagging someone out.

Judge 2

Positives: Ad is totally clear - I know exactly what is being sold, and where to find it. Music drives good energy and flows well with the edit. Font choice is appropriate and adds extra interest to the story.

Improvements: The ad is a little straight forward - a little comedic twist could be fun. You might consider a VO at the end - sometimes people are not always reading the copy, but they will remember an AVO with the business name.

Judge 3

Positives: i liked your font choice--cool. make it dance a bit more with the energy. I would also shrink them in size...no need to take up the whole screen. some very cool cinematography...cool shots with the lasers. Good energy--moves quickly and times out nicely music a cool choice. THANK YOU for using the natural ending of the music rather than fading out!

Improvements: it's a laser tag place---start off with that rather than video games! Tell me more about the lasers...then add in the other things you can do second. no need for the logo bug until the opening shot is over, since you're looking at the same logo on the building also...leave the name of the place on the screen at the end when showing the address. note the space between "cybersapcel" and "asertag". Be sure to triple check those things!

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: