Growing Old - ID# 142
Neuqua Valley
Division: A
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description
This dramatic narrative looks into the changes kids go through as they grow up. It is a raw example of the feelings and pain that everyone experiences when we begin to loose our childhood beliefs of a perfect world.
Recent Teacher Comments
- 3/11 9:56 pm - Camera not steady in many shots. Why no tripod? Serious focus issues in some shots - quite soft. Much more lighting needed - did you use any in this film? Story builds, but there’s no resolution - or Act 3, as they say. What are you trying to say at the end?
- 3/11 8:26 am - SOUND. Music does a great job of doing what it should - filling in the gaps and setting the mood. Loved how the yelling parents were like Charlie Brown adults, not so dominant and clear that you hear every word, but you get the idea she is yelling, nagging, etc. Nice job. But on that idea, some of the lines I had to watch twice to hear what was said because the narrator's words were not always clear - they were clear to you, but this first-time viewer had a hard time hearing some of it (bad luck from broken mirrors - I can hear it once I know what it is, but the line before you were talking about being afraid of the dark). The other line I had a hard time with is "now it's numbing". Your script was well written, I just missed some of your lines at the first pass because your voice was delivering it in that "sad" tone. STORY. You are telling a great story here, and doing it very effectively! I am guessing it is not hard for many teens to connect with your piece in one capacity or another. However, and this is my personal preference, I am never a fan of telling a story that life stinks and leaving it there, because life is hard and for many reasons, and that hard part doesn't go away after high school. so I would love to see the video do more than leave your audience in a downer about life, and tell me what you can do when you are in that state, find the good in those moments, volunteer, build into the life of someone who then does care, find comfort by giving comfort, etc.. You can still bring your audience to that low, but then show me the human spirit that is able to rise above that and find the good. Sorry I know that was me on my soap box, I just would have loved to end on a more positive note. She could have gotten up from the snow, done those things, and then at the end drop down in the snow but with a smile on her face knowing she made a difference - your title would not have even need to have changed because growing old is about dealing with those feelings of feeling hopeless at times. CAMERA / VISUALS. You have some absolutely great visuals, simplistic yet your pictures are telling a 1000 words. Great job getting everything inside of the frame the way you want them. Some of your shots were not stable, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but because others were locked down, the wiggly ones stood out, and on a piece with such a dramatic narration and shots, keep that element (imperfection) out so the focus stays on the intensity you are creating. EDITING. Great flow, you have a great sense of timing you give your audience a chance to think about what is said before you jump to the next idea. OVERALL SUMMARY I liked your video, The only part I really didn't like is that I would have loved to see the story end more upbeat. You pulled all these pieces together very nicely your skill and attention to detail is evident. Great job
- 3/6 6:26 pm - Story was powerful and you illustrated the tumultuous home life very well by simply using background audio of the parents arguing and fighting. Lighting Tip: even when you want a shot or scene to look like it’s being lit by candles, you MUST add additional light, because candlelight is simply not enough for 99% of cameras, unless you have a truly professional and very high end cinema camera. How do you do this? You have the candles as your “practical” lights, in the shot, as you did, but directly off camera you add in some additional fresnel lighting with very closed down barn doors and some orange gels to add additional warm lighting on your subject’s face. Then you can even wiggle the orange gel to add movement, simulating the flickering of a candle. Since you didn’t do that, your subject is very out of focus and your shot is very grainy, likely because you had to boost the gain or set your ISO through the roof in order to even get a shot at all. Another tip: don’t shoot movies at 60 fps. That frame rate is associated with live television, like news or sports. It’s too crisp and not very filmic. If you want to emulate film, shoot in 24 fps with a shutter speed of around 50 or 60. This will give you the beginning of a more filmic look. Oh, and add more lighting to everything you do, because the broken mirror shot was also really soft on focus, probably due to underexposure. AUDIO: Be aware of your audio levels. As a rule of thumb, here’s your range: dialogue should be between -6 and -12 on the VU meter, sound effects, should be between -15 and -21, and music beds DURING dialogue should be between -18 and -24. There was a persistent hiss throughout most of the voice overs and actual dialogue.
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