Shoes Mockumentary - ID# 26

Batavia

Division: A

Comedic Narrative

Entry Description

Roy has a crippling fear of shoes and his friend, Sam, is determined to help him overcome it at all costs.

Recent Teacher Comments

• 4/25 11:00 am - Laughed out loud. Great imitation of this genre. Really impressed with the audio style changes made to fit the genre. Great composition and camera movement. Audio was solid with consistent levels. Great story executed well.
• 4/24 5:27 pm - The performers do a great job in this video. The video slows a little bit in the middle, but there is a resolution at the end.
• 3/14 7:37 am - Good story idea. You kept it understated for the most part and kept the overacted reaction shots short. The humor was there throughout piece. The single camera, back and forth pans said low budget, but earnest. Audio was somewhat uneven, and distracting in the driveway scene, though the running away with the auto-focus zoom was effective and just long enough. Recycling that bit for the ending probably took away from the effect. Watch out for the back lit shots.
• 3/5 2:09 pm - This was an interesting concept and a funny idea, but it dragged. The pace just dragged. It took a bit too long to go through the process of rehabilitating him, and then the end didn’t provide the comedic pay off that one would expect from an almost 5 minute movie. Many of the shots were not lit appropriately, resulting in a lot of really soft focus and unflattering shadows. Even in a documentary or mockumentary, you need light for your subjects. Sound was a bit hot at times; sounded like lavalieres that were set too high in the mix or a boom that was recorded too hot.

Judge 1

Positives: Convincing acting. Good script.

Improvements: Instead of panning back and forth for dialogue, do multiple takes: shoot it wide, and alternate talking heads and edit it down. Always light the scene.

Judge 2

Positives: Very funny "get" (fear of shoes). Really enjoyed the acting and the editing. Opening was engaging. Great editing/camera work! Like that you delayed the reveal of his phobia. Demonstrated narrative patience. Nice introduction of Sam. Nice ending to the story. The writing felt very natural, maybe even ad-libbed, which is a great quality for this kind of short.

Improvements: Once you reveal the main character's phobia, it would be great to see this fear in action. Is he walking to the store in his socks as people he passes stare curiously at this feet? Do we see a shot that illustrates the fact that he doesn't have a singe pair of shoes in his closet? Maybe we meet a parent who tells us that he hasn't worn a pair of shoes since he was 7. Also, your story telling structure changes after Sam arrives. I would've preferred for that to be more consistent throughout. The beginning is so good and though I like the last two thirds, I think it would've been a homerun if you would've continued with intermittent to camera interviews and VO work. Please let me know if I'm not being clear and I'll do a better job of explaining.

Judge 3

Positives: Very subtle--very funny.

Improvements: Sound is a little jumpy in spots...mics a little overdriven

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: