This was the promo for the varsity football team. I wanted to tell the story of our team; every player was once a kid who loved playing ball, and worked hard to become a varsity player.
Positives: Story - Simple concept executed simply and clearly. Not relying too much on the audience. Camera - Game footage composed as it should be. Nice follows, good exposure. Editing - Narrative elements cut naturally with the pace of music. Seems simple, but is often neglected. Same is true of game footage. Well done.
Improvements: Story - No need to use the same gimmick turning the player back into the kid. That holds the viewer's hand a bit much. I suspect a more understated final wide shot of the kid on the sideline watching the game would solidify the emotional intent. Editing - Not sure why the crazy text was used on screen for "built this town". It's out of place. Abandon it or, if it's a theme that runs through various media elements and promotions, put it right at the end before the game announcement.
Positives: the story was creative and clear. camerawork was excellent on rehearsed shots
Improvements: for the scene shot in studio equipment was visible.
Positives: Good story line! It flowed well and kept my attention. Good use of titles
Improvements: I don't think you needed the Sepia, it didn't add anything to the story and it was a little distracting.
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