A Family Fight: The Sean Ryan Story - ID# 265

Lyons Township

Division: AA

Documentary

Entry Description

This is a documentary about athlete Sean Ryan. I explored his achievements and the obstacles that he had to overcome along the way, as well as how his family has supported him.

Recent Teacher Comments

• 4/26 2:10 pm - Good opening but don’t put stroke on text. Framing on dad and Sean is off and different from one another as well. Ken burns motion a little too fast – there should be a purpose to the motion. Background audio abrudtly stops at 1:16. Music doesn’t really work. Going from an interview of Sean to a voiceover of Sean at 3:32 doesn’t work and is confusing as to who is speaking.
• 4/10 1:14 pm - Great job sharing a compelling story about a humble yet uniquely challenged high level athlete. Really wish we could have seen more video, pictures or other broll to keep the story going visually as the talking heads distracted from the emotion of the story. As you continue to develop this, finding footage from USA volleyball will really help share this story with a broader audience.
• 3/2 3:01 pm - Good use of doc. elements (formal interview, b-roll, archival.) Interviews are well-lit, sound is good. Music levels too high for dialogue track. Music is nearly omnipresent. Cutaways are quick covers of audio cuts. No nat sound in b-roll. Opening could be stronger - doesn't start with something catchy, introduction to a story. Overall a good story, but the emotion seems more forced with the music than through the interviews.

Judge 1

Positives: The use of game footage was great. The overall story was solid and illustrated a message that many would find inspiring.

Improvements: In the middle section the music became a bit to dark and dramatic - that created a bit of a disconnect for me as a viewer. I understand what you were trying. Some of the photo moves were redundant consider slower moves as well. The use of stills is always a tricky thing to pull off but a creative approach makes a huge difference in the final product - Like the use of the newspaper - it was simple but felt like it was not a stand alone element.

Judge 2

Positives: Excellent storytelling. Great use of music for emotional effect.

Improvements: The cinematography and lighting on the interviews could be improved.

Judge 3

Positives: The integration of talking heads video with the omniscient voice over works very well and helps create a clear structure for the film and allows for the release of information. The story is compelling, Sean’s conflict is clear and both Sean and his father are sympathetic.

Improvements: The music leads the audience too much, overshadowing the structure of the film and release of information. The title indicates a disagreement in the family, which is misleading. It sets up an expectation that an additional problem will be introduced.

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: