Covered Up - ID# 275

Neuqua Valley
Division: A
Public Service Announcement
Entry Description

A girl tries to hide the abuse she has gone through using makeup.

Recent Teacher Comments

  • 3/13 10:46 am - Mostly steady camerawork; careful of the reflection of the camera when dealing with glass (:34) Good use of the 'new text' audio drop in--the sound helps to create tension! The piece works well with just the sounds of the phone, her morning activity, and her tense breathing. great job building tension throughout the piece.
  • 3/13 10:45 am - Nice sequence at :25 when she comes up from brushing her teeth; could have used an initial shot of the FIRST text "I'M OUTSIDE", cut to her face, then cut back to the follow-up texts that build tension and anxiety.
  • 3/13 10:45 am - Great story showing how every day must feel to her. The emotion comes through. Great closing at the end with the hotline resource.
  • 3/12 9:12 pm - Positives: Great overall PSA with a very simple but powerful idea. Your actor's performance was believable and powerful and the bruising make up was realistic. The natural sound was a great choice in this particular instance. It's a bold choice to literally showcase dead air in an artistic way and you pulled it off very nicely. Improvements: You had some continuity issues with your first two shots. A bit of a jump cut was present with the girl in bed and honestly I'm not sure you needed those shots anyway. Why not simply start with an alarm clock shut off and then get her to the bathroom. The bedroom shots are too difficult to see clearly. Those shots ate into your time unnecessarily. Consequently, your title cards were on not on screen quite long enough, particularly your last card. It needed to be held for just a bit longer. I also think it would have been devastating if she had responded to his texts cheerfully.
  • 3/8 4:31 pm - STRENGTHS - Nice shots and structure. The emotion felt believable and the actress managed to carry the scene well. QUESTIONS / SUGGESTIONS - The opening shots are too dark to see the bruises, then we never actually see them in the mirror before she covers them up with makeup. Sound of the phone seems a little silly for such a dramatic scene.
  • 3/3 10:05 am - Positive: No music, dead sound and real audio makes for a very powerful tension. Very well done. The shots were personal with the actress. We connected with her. Great use of a memorable slogan and good job pointing people to a solution (with the phone number). Good emotion with the actress
  • 3/3 10:05 am - Improvements: The first couple of shots seemed to lack continuity. She is on her side, then she is laying face up. Also, I would have liked to have seen her look closer at the bruise, which would require you to get to that moment of concern quicker.
Judge 1

Positives: I like the "you can't just cover it up" and the appearance of the bruises after she had already tried to cover them up. A more dramatic appearance of them after the text message would be very effective. Good variance of camera angles and shots.

Improvements: I understand the opening shots are conveying that she is just waking up but they are too dark. Start off with her turning on a light on the night stand or something like that and immediately entering the bathroom. A full 7 seconds was spent showing her laying in the dark and that is over 10% of the allotted time frame for the PSA . Mixing in a shot of the boyfriend sitting in his car in the driveway impatiently tapping his fingers on the steering wheel or top of the car door as the text messages are coming in would be very effective and give a bigger sense of immediacy to the problem.

Judge 2

Positives:

Improvements:

Judge 3

Positives: Nice shot variety. Good, natural performance.

Improvements: Some music or subtle "scoring" could help with the emotional intensity. Also, some cooler color-correction on the opening scene might give it more early morning flavor.

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: