"Serendipity" - Short Film Submission - Alec Barlow - 2018 - ID# 294

South Elgin

Division: AA

Dramatic Narrative

Entry Description

Dramatic narrative. A young woman tries to reconnect with her true love through an unlikely event.

Recent Teacher Comments

• 4/2 11:25 am - Serendipity Music fit the piece Lighting was good Photography was good Graphic at the end didn’t fit Storytelling could have been more clear, but makes you think
• 3/10 11:17 am - Story: I think this is pretty strong visual storytelling. I found the very beginning a bit jarring- going from the afterlife (let’s call it) to coming to on the pool deck to hitting the alarm in bed. But as a whole, I think your story unfolds really well and keeps us engaged as more pieces of the puzzle are revealed. Most importantly, I think it pays off in the end. Very cool. Camera: I like a lot of your work. Nice variety of shots that are well chosen. Your stuff cuts together well. Cool underwater shots. My only real critique is that some shots should be on a tripod- the wide shot of the two of them in the afterworld for example. Your handheld push in on his face could be smoother. But, like I say, strong work. Lighting: Consistently good. No real complaints here. I like the green lighting on him in the car. Subtle and effective. Sound: Good stuff here too. I like your music tracks. Levels are good. V.O. sounds good. Sound FX are good. Editing: Slick work here. I like the look of your opening sequence. The lowered color saturation looks retro and cool. Your transitions between worlds works well. It all flows well. Great stuff. Final Thoughts: I really like this. Kudos.

Judge 1

Positives:

Improvements:

Judge 2

Positives: The use of the bracelet was effective visual storytelling, and the music really enhanced the narrative.

Improvements: The film opens with a vision after nearly drowning, and then cuts to him waking up in bed. Was this a dream within a dream? Also, I’m unclear if the story is a time loop or has time jumping, because it ends where the story begins … did he have multiple drowning instances, or just one? I’m left with structural questions.

Judge 3

Positives: Great work here. I love the sophistication of your story and that you don't reveal it to us strictly chronologically. This took some real planning. Great job. Your audio is awesome. Great tracks, great sound FX. Your editing is slick as well. Kudos all the way around.

Improvements: I have to get really picky to come up with anything. The first flashback shot of her giving him the bracelet is unnecessary and a bit on the nose. (I think you tell it better in the second, closer shot.) Um, I don't really have a second thing. You killed it.

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: