Fatherhood: Make the Difference - ID# 291
Glenbrook North
Division: A
Public Service Announcement
Entry Description
This is a PSA about the importance of fatherhood, and how being a dad that's active in his kids' lives can really make a difference. Fatherhood isn't just about being there physically, it's also about taking action and helping make a positive impact on the kid.
Recent Teacher Comments
- 3/13 11:07 am - I had to look up the song title to find out that it's "Does It Really Make a Difference". Careful when using lyrics that could easily be heard and interpreted incorrectly. This one sounds like "Doesn't Make a Difference", which then makes the story confusing. VO of the young boy at the end is a nice choice, although the audio quality is just OK. Nice job fading out the music bed.
- 3/13 11:06 am - Good variety of locations and activities. Some shots have too much headroom or the action is not properly framed. Plan more carefully when storyboarding, and correct when editing if possible.
- 3/13 11:06 am - Split screen works well as a story-telling tool for comparison. Pacing of the story works--there are enough different scenes to show a variety of activities, without the story feeling rushed.
- 3/12 11:05 pm - Positives: Great PSA, overall. The use of the split screen was clever and mostly well executed. Each shot was well framed and composed. Lighting was consistent throughout. The voice over of the child at the end was a nice, powerful touch. The font and style choices of your text were good. Overall, a clever, well-crafted PSA. Improvement: The music choice is weird due to the lyrical content. I understand wanted to be on the nose, but this gives off the opposite message. Be consistent with your split screen imagery. You lost it a bit during the bowling segment. Also, make sure your titles are within title safe. The website and edges of your title on the last shot appear to be outside the legal limits of title safe. Get into the habit of following this!
- 3/3 10:07 am - Positives: Great creative use of the split screen. Great job incorporating diversity in age group. We don't see a lot of boys or adults in the videos. Your stands out with interesting actors. I like the last shot
- 3/3 10:07 am - Improvements: Stick with the split screen. You could remove the bowling alley establishing shot and just show them bowl. Your song choice is a little strange - "doesn't make a difference at all" and then you state it makes a difference. It felt like a contradicting thought. It's a good topic, but truthfully, I just wasn't as emotionally connected to this video as I was to other videos.
Judge 1
Positives: I really like the story and the message. As a father myself the message of "give your kids the attention they deserve" really hits home. I like the side by side contrast of the 2 different fathers and their parenting style.
Improvements: Mix in more variance in camera shots like extreme close ups and extreme wide shots. Some of the sequences were a bit too long but that could be fixed by mixing in more variance of camera shots. Also I think a more effective ending would show the inattentive dad and his son 10 years later, only the dad is trying to get his son's attention but this time the son is too involved with his phone to notice.
Judge 2
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Judge 3
Positives: great shooting and compositions. The split-screen is a classic device to get your yin/yang idea across. Good directing of your actors to get clear non-verbal performances that get the idea across.
Improvements: Not sure the end shot has the weight that it needs to. This almost seems like a PSA about getting off your phone! (which is a good message, too) Is the voice-over at the end one of the 2 boys? It sounds very young, and I might have gone with an adult male, or at least an older male that could have been one of the boys 10 years later.
Judge 4
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