Teenage Suicide PSA - ID# 305
Glenbrook North
Division: A
Public Service Announcement
Entry Description
A public service announcement that promotes awareness to teenage suicide prevention.
Recent Teacher Comments
- 3/13 10:49 am - VO is well-executed. The music bed is a bit loud, and could be more subtle to balance with the VO.
- 3/13 10:48 am - Needs more shot variety that includes close-ups of the narrator, creating the emotional connection as a visual that matches with the VO. The visual is a bit detached because of the long shots used, and doesn't match with the heartache of the VO.
- 3/13 10:47 am - Good story, told with the cross-fade absence in the shot of the student who died by suicide. Good visual tool. Tight shots of the victim at :30 work well & get you to connect with that person; use of black & white is effective symbolism.
- 3/12 9:19 pm - Positives: Your narration was well written and the simple process of having the friend disappear was effective. Your PSA contained the necessary elements to sell a message to the public. It introduced a problem and backed it up with research-based statistics before giving the audience a place to go for help or for more information. Tonally, the music worked well. Improvements: The narration was well written and mixed well, but it needed to be delivered in a more powerful manner. Your titles at the end most likely fell outside of title safe and they needed some more impactful font choices. Also, I did not like the reenactment of the boys suicide. It felt off for a PSA about prevention. It's never wise to give someone ideas. How could have shown loss in an equally impactful way? This a question you need to explore moving forward. Also, with the music, try not to use cues that are used often. That particular music choice felt too familiar for me to truly connect with the content.
- 3/3 10:05 am - Positive: The music does a nice job of setting mood. I like narration. It connects us with a human. It helped tell the story. Creative way of using cross dissolves to remove the friend from the shots. Nice job giving people a direction on where to find more information.
- 3/3 10:05 am - Improvements: This is only as good as the narration. At times, I didn't believe the emotion. It felt rehearsed and monotone. Get more from your narrator next time. With your information, you can remove https://. The first cross dissolve was strange since a guy is talking about his friend, but the friend is removed from a scene with two girls. And lastly, and in my opinion, most importantly, we never want to put a suicide visual into a teenager's head. Showing someone jump off the side gives someone an idea. It's possible to show loss and process without showing the actual act.
Judge 1
Positives: I like how you showed the kid in social situations and dissolved to the same situation without him there. I like the shots of the feet on the ledge and the trees.
Improvements: At the beginning you go from a medium shot to a medium shot. Go from a medium shot to an extreme close up of the kids face to show him grieving. I understand you are going for a somber tone but the delivery of the voice-over was too monotone.
Judge 2
Positives:
Improvements:
Judge 3
Positives: Great use of the creative dissolves to remove the character from the scenes. Nice effect! I like the black and white grade to show the flashback.
Improvements: A little hard to hear your voice-over at times - music seems a little loud. A shot of the main character driving and looking out the window might be nice to motivate the shot from inside the car.
Judge 4
Positives:
Improvements: