Listen - ID# 302

Mundelein

Division: AA

Dramatic Narrative

Entry Description

You know it is going to be a bad day when you wake up and your hearing is gone. Silent Film Entry for Sanfilippo Silent Film Festival. Created by Danny, Jacob, and Charles. Musical score written and performed by professional Derek Berg of Clarendon Hills Music Academy.

Recent Teacher Comments

• 4/2 12:07 pm - pretty well shot, lighting was alright, although kind of iffy in spots, story wasn't very believable, music fits the tone you were going for
• 3/10 1:00 pm - Story: I like that you commit fully to visual storytelling. The story is straightforward and easy to follow, which is its strength. It’s also the weakness. In general, I don’t think you put enough faith in the viewer. Almost everything is over-explained here, which makes it feel like you think we’re dumb. Starting with the alarm going off and the alarm clock. We go back and forth quite a few times. Although it’s important to make the story clear, when you overdo it, the viewer gets ahead of the story and we get bored. It’s like, “We get it- he’s deaf.” But you continue to demonstrate this to us several more ways, and each time you make it abundantly clear that he’s deaf. What would be more interesting (maybe) is the story of why he’s deaf. Or what he’s going to do about it. Or how he turns this deficit into a positive. The twist of him being struck blind might be a good way to go out if this were a comedy. But your music and shooting style make this feel more like a drama, so it just feels like a quick way to wrap things up. Camera: Solid but not spectacular. You’ve got the fundamentals of how to shoot a film figured out. Some focus issues, but real red flags. Lighting: Seems like mostly available lighting, and you make it work well for you. Exposures are pretty solid. No big issues here either. Sound: Your music matches your story exceptionally well, which makes me think it’s an original score. If that’s true, kudos for the effort. My only critique would be that it creates a fairly serious dramatic tone that I don’t think the story ultimately lives up to. Editing: Solid work. Nothing dazzling, but no serious flaws either. Final Thoughts: Lots of good work here. Keep at it.

Judge 1

Positives:

Improvements:

Judge 2

Positives:

Improvements:

Judge 3

Positives:

Improvements:

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: