Repeat - ID# 347

Eisenhower

Division: AA

Comedic Narrative

Entry Description

A boy is in love with a girl who is in his class. He has the courage to ask her out but every time he asks her out, something bad happens that make his whole day repeat.

Recent Teacher Comments

• 4/24 4:26 pm - I didn't understand the story. It was confusing to me. Color grading looked good. Nice work!
• 4/10 10:35 am - Great pacing, I loved the repeat/rewind technique. Your camera movements and audio bed definitely helped build the pace and chaos the story, nice work. Moving forward, I would encourage you to build the story a bit more, thinking about what the character would experience in each new “scene” that would ultimately surprise him (and the viewer) and how they would react. This response to the unknown is important in storytelling but especially important in comedy where the absurd and unexpected is so critical to making us laugh as viewers. You have a great foundation of skills here, though your audio is a bit distracting because of that “hiss” that happens when someone’s talking. Try recording the sound of environment you’re filming in, just capturing the sound and no dialogue. Then you can run that audio under the whole piece and never have these moments of sudden environment sound. Keep working, you have a great start here!
• 4/2 11:46 am - Repeat Good lighting Liked the opening shots Copyrighted music Terrible audio - incoherent at times Jump cut of girl with red hair First time used sound effect when going back in time, second time no sound effect Handheld scene was bad, pick one shooting style and stick with it Broke 180 rule when teacher woke the student up in the classroom

Judge 1

Positives: The reverse shots sold the story. The script held the theme.

Improvements: The whip pans were way over the top and it also made your iris fluctuate.

Judge 2

Positives: Loved your open. Absolutely great DP work -- loved the shot composition against the music. You did an amazing job of teeing up your story. Nicely done! Also loved the spirit of this piece. It's incredibly difficult to pull off a "Groundhog" style narrative -- not easy. Loved how you visually communicated the repeat theme thru editing. Also,there was something about the style of this short that I liked a lot. I'm not sure what it was but to some degree you were throwing away a lot of conventional filmmaking norms but that also worked against you a little.

Improvements: As I said, LOVED the open - the quality of the camera work and the editing was really engaging. Unfortunately, in the body of the story, the frenetic camera work worked against you. Maybe that was a directorial choice. Maybe you were trying to visually match the lack of control your hero was experiencing -- so I'm not sure that this is really a criticism. More just a note for you to consider. Character-wise, I had a tough time figuring our your main character. I wasn't sure if he was just disconnected from people around him, or he was cursed in some way, or just socially inept. A stronger set up and a little more character development might've ironed this confusion out for me. With this said, I applaud you for making a short -- it's not easy. Keep making art!

Judge 3

Positives: The do-over angle works well here--you want to root for thisguy

Improvements: Sound in edits jumps a lot...use mics on the talent instead of camera mic and all the background hiss would be gone

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: