Cardbucks - ID# 349
Eisenhower
Division: AA
Commercial
Entry Description
A young teen struggles to come to school on time and stay awake in her class. One of her classmates leads her to the solution to all her problems.
Recent Teacher Comments
- 3/11 9:56 pm - Good before and after concept...I liked the shots and the humor of the first coffee shop...watch the audio swithcing between the shots and the hiss that sometimes came with the different shots....I agree that the white balance should be check to bring consistency to the entire piece..
- 3/9 12:17 pm - A nice simple narrative that is clear and complete. A pivotal shot is soft (the coffee shot). That needs to be fixed or it takes the viewers out of the world you are creating. It “Hiss and Pop” of the natural audio needs to me mixed in a way so that it is not so noticeable when re-entering the commercial. Lighting is natural, but could be enhances with a reflector. Think about using the camera to enhance the tone. Shoot the lead with a slight high angle in the beginning to show that she is defeated, and then switch to a low angle once she drinks her “Cardbucks.” That’s a way to use the camera more to enhance your message. Editing was good for the narrative . Pace and tone fit well.
- 3/8 8:27 pm - Strengths: -You did a good job of noticing the places were we needed to see a close up shot, whether it was to see the text messages, her name on a cup, or the emotions on her face. This is very important because it helps tell the story. -I really like the photoshopped graphic at the end, very cute! Room for Improvement: -The audio is inconsistent. Some is very clear and all of the shots with dialogue are fuzzy. It seems as though there was something wrong with your audio recording device. -Check your white balance. Some of the shots are very yellow/orange while others seem more blue. Take note of the lights in the room you are shooting and adjust the white balance. -It would have been nice for the main girl and the barista to me seen in the same shot. Since we do not see them in the same shot, it is difficult to understand the spatial relationship between the two.
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