The Wait - ID# 352
Riverside Brookfield
Division: A
Dramatic Narrative
Entry Description
This short silent film follows one woman’s wait in a reception room. Things take a sinister turn when her fellow “waiters” start disappearing, one by one.
Recent Teacher Comments
- 3/11 10:20 pm - There is no such thing as a silent film. Silent films had scores accompanying them and you chose not to marry a soundtrack with your film. As a result, there is no way to critically engage in this story. It is such an insurmountable “ask” you are making of your audience, that no camerawork or style could get an audience to care about the characters and the action. That said, the fundamentals of shooting and editing are there, but this is not a film without sound.
- 3/9 4:24 pm - SOUND There is none, and there could have been. I know this was an entry at the Silent Film festival back in November, whey didn’t you include the score that was created? Or why didn’t you seek out your own soundtrack. It would have made such a difference to your piece, it was a novel idea, but the lack of audio made it seem very long. STORY Story was hard to follow, needed a few establishing shots to get an idea of what was going on, (even if it is not filmed in a Dr’s office, and establishing shot at the beginning would have sold me on the idea) felt like the characters were awkwardly introduced especially the main character who suddenly just showed up. I didn’t get right away that people were disappearing so it made it hard to know what was going on (I just assumed they got called into a room – a dramatic sound or more fearful reaction would have helped. And I’ll be honest, no matter how many times I look at it I still don’t get the bird cage thing, CAMERA/VISUALS You had a good variety of shots balanced with cover shots, close ups, visually I never felt bored, however if you really wanted your audience to get that people were disappearing you should have shown the before and after from the same point of view which would have drove the point home to your audience that something is different which would have aroused suspicion. You did that at 47 seconds, but not when the second person disappeared at 1:02, or the next. Audiences love patterns, it helps them figure things out and understand what is going on. Otherwise I have to wait 1:45 to know what the story is, and most audiences won’t be that patient. EDITING Like I said you had a good way of bouncing to cutaways to move the story along and show “changes” in the waiting room. I think this concept had a lot of potential but the lack of sound and a slightly confusing story made it hard to follow. Work on those shortcomings and future projects will be great because I can see the skill and attention to planning and detail in your work.
- 3/6 6:44 pm - STORY: Cool concept. But not much character development or storyline. Why are these specific students waiting? Why are the in this weird prison? Who is the guy watching them in the frame inside a birdcage at the end? Too many questions, not enough answers. SOUND: I understand this was your entry for the Student Silent Film Festival, but, why didn’t you upload the version WITH the professionally scored piano part? That would have made this entry SIGNIFICANTLY better. CAMERA AND LIGHTING: Shots are clean and in focus. Lighting seems appropriate overall for the scene and setting. The end scene where the guy is watching the frame in the bird cage is cool, BUT you need to add more light to the guy’s face. Even when you intend to use limbo lighting or blackbox style, you have to have enough light to expose your subject.
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