The Mystery of the 4th Floor - ID# 413
Lake Forest
Division: A
Comedic Narrative
Entry Description
Is there really a fourth floor- the legendary question every freshman asks
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/25 11:02 am - Lighting done well and fit the story. Camera movement done well. Audio good and consistent levels. Background music used well as it added to the story. End of the story didn't have much punch. Good story up to that point.
- 4/24 5:20 pm - Audio is well done. Lighting helps to set the tone. The tone and performances are consistent throughout the video.
- 3/14 7:31 am - Opening shots were good and set the scene for the Ghost Adventures spoof. Pictures made the case for English Department joke and pairing the Illuminati with X-Files music was good. The Scout Fuel bit wasn't so strong and the payoff at the end did fall flat. Your audience in this case is wider than the school, so more explanation or set up is needed to get the reaction you are after. More build up to entering the room on the 4th floor would also be closer to the Ghost Adventures format, but only useful if the payoff is there.
- 3/5 1:18 pm - This is pretty funny, but remember one of the most crucial elements of successful comedy: it must be RELATABLE. Most of your jokes and most of the comedic concept revolve around specific insider stuff at your high school. Some of the conspiracy theory stuff is general enough, but a lot of your material seems to be specific to your school. Who is the lady at the end? Why is that reveal comedic? Lighting was dramatic; I’m assuming that was intentional. But even dramatic high contrast lighting needs to be sufficient enough for good camera exposure. Your main 2-shot of the characters was underexposed; not just shadowy, but soft. This felt less like a comedic narrative short film and more like a funny news package for the school.
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