Loner - ID# 422

Lake Forest

Division: A

Music Video

Entry Description

That kid you should talk to

Recent Teacher Comments

• 3/12 10:28 pm - This is a story that unfolds as the video progresses and actually keeps me interested in what is going to happen. I know there was some colors thrown on the sitting down scenes that I don't know always helped the video or the feel. I do like the dancing break, that showed some variety in the video. The coverage of shots was also good in terms of seeing perspectives from the characters.
• 3/11 10:43 pm - Really cool narrative within this one. I like the slow pace of getting to know the 'loner', as it mimics the lyrics well. I was surprised that their friendship formed that quickly, but I think you gave the video nice closure by having them meet back at the wall for lunch. When the dance scenes begin, I would have liked to see a larger variety of camerawork to showcase the dancing/passion for dancing more.

Judge 1

Positives: 1. I liked the opening of the video where you conveyed the idea of being alone and the passage of time. Those types of shots take foresight as to how you will accomplish the effect in post. Keep thinking creatively like this. 2. I think you did a good job visually telling your story. The body language clear and informative.

Improvements: 1. I liked the stylized lighting you had in the beginning of the piece, however I feel like as a whole it feels out of place. I think if you make a stylized choice like that, you should try to keep that consistent throughout the piece. That doesn't mean you have to do that lighting the whole time, but since that lighting was surreal, find ways to continue that sense of surrealism. 2. It would have been nice to see you be more experimental with your camera work. The dancing scenes would have been a good way to vary the pacing and emotion of the video. It seems like dancing is a special escape for your character, so you should try to convey those feelings through your camera work. Although it is good to have some wide shots of her dancing so you can see her move, you would get a more intimate feel by incorporating some tighter shots.

Judge 2

Positives: A simple story well told. It is more difficult than it seems to tell a simple, linear story with an arc. Our protagonist's trajectory was evident. She faced an obstacle and handled it in her own way and then was presented with a final choice and changed. Nice cuts to the beat at the beginning. Exposures and framing were good.

Improvements: Cutting on motion. There are a number of cuts in this piece that could have been tightened and it would have allowed the visual narrative to flow a lot more smoothly. When the male protagonist is attempting to get into the dance studio for the first time. We see him approach. We cut. We see him try the handle. We cut. We are wider and see him feeling defeated. All of these shots feel like they are separate from one another when one shot should cut to the next on the action of walking toward the door to grab for the handle cutting as he's grabbing the handle and then cutting when he's stepping away. It maintains continuity and flow. Careful when you're operating steadicam that you don't bump the rig. There were several instances where the glidecam looked as though it got bumped and it took me out of the moment. Playback on set helps to catch these moments. Cutting out of the shot earlier to avoid the bumps or simply doing extra takes for safety to ensure you got a good one will help.

Judge 3

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Judge 4

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