Winter Pruning Commercial - ID# 433
John Hersey High School
Division: A
Commercial
Entry Description
A short promotion for Milieu Landscaping winter pruning services.
Recent Teacher Comments
- 4/18 4:43 pm - Great use of CUs and text to carry this video. The beginning title is a little misleading. It may have made more sense to start with the company logo so we knew what we were watching. Some shots played a little long, but the overall the pacing was great. The text could have been shortened a bit and the placement a tad more title safe.
- 3/11 12:30 pm - You decision to rely almost exclusively on close-ups works well. You provide many shots of hands and trimming tools tending to trees and bushes. As a result, more emphasis is placed on the care given to these objects than the person providing the care. In other words, your approach suggests a careful practitioner at work rather than someone hacking away branches. I wonder if the text "The Day in the Life of a Landscaper" at the beginning is a bit misleading. When one considers what you are trying to sell and the images contained in your piece, I am not sure how this statement fits. On a somewhat related note, your commercial asks the viewer to do a lot of reading. What would the slightly distracted viewer miss if he or she missed portions of the piece's graphics? Would some type of narration help this issue? Your use of close-ups makes focus a challenge. Throughout the piece, the area in focus within a shot would change. I got the sense you relied on the camera's sensor to determine what should be in focus. While difficult to do, you may have have wanted to focus your shots manually in order to control more precisely what is in focus and when changes in focus occur.
- 3/7 9:15 am - MUSIC I thought the music choice was great, peppy, upbeat, and the idea of moving forward. Great fit for what you were trying to do. STORY All of your content was good, but it felt more like a PSA than a commercial. I didn’t fully know what was being sold, the only tip in the information that clued me into a company was when you used the word WE but I still didn’t know who WE is/was – not until the end. Try and get the product placement early on, even if it is subtle so your audience knows who is talking and what they are selling. I also think you should have had a voice over verses making your audience read, because when they are reading, they are not looking at your visuals and I thought you had some great visuals, but I didn’t get much chance to really see them because I didn’t want to miss the text. VISUALS As I said above I thought your visuals were great EDITING I appreciated the sounds when new text came up, so I wouldn’t miss anything.
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