One Day... - ID# 465

Mundelein

Division: AA

Comedic Narrative

Entry Description

A teenager finds out it is harder to run away from home than she thought. What will bring her back?

Recent Teacher Comments

• 4/10 10:50 am - Great set up and nice action shots running out to the car. Your set-up is funny and the premise is clever. Moving forward, you want to build up some of the drama a bit more. The punchline is delivered so fast and then there’s a quick resolution. Story is so important, and timing is everything in comedy, so delaying those songs a bit, having her wrestle with her emotion, and show her turmoil more, this way the comedy is part of an actual emotion. You have some great foundational skills here, keep working!
• 4/10 10:50 am - Great set up and nice action shots running out to the car. Your set-up is funny and the premise is clever. Moving forward, you want to build up some of the drama a bit more. The punchline is delivered so fast and then there’s a quick resolution. Story is so important, and timing is everything in comedy, so delaying those songs a bit, having her wrestle with her emotion, and show her turmoil more, this way the comedy is part of an actual emotion. You have some great foundational skills here, keep working!
• 4/2 11:41 am - One Day… Plot super underdeveloped Used copyrighted music to tell the story

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Judge 3

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Judge 4

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