Family Heritage - ID# 475

John Hersey High School

Division: A

Documentary

Entry Description

This story is about my family and how they escaped Germany during the late 1940's.

Recent Teacher Comments

• 4/23 7:06 pm - Technically sound but visual aesthetics are weak. Absolutely no video - other than interview with one subject. Great Radio story, but your class and course instruction are intended for maximum, visual storytelling for display on television or Internet.
• 3/2 3:13 pm - The piece is a wonderful video recording of a survivor- and has true importance as part of the historical record. As a film, however, it lacks dynamism and does not engage with a narrative structure. The intro VO is very drone-like; does not hook the viewer. Some sloppy edits. There is a lot of detail, but no sweeping narrative- hard to follow. All cutaways are archival (maps, historical photos)- where is original footage besides the interview? No b-roll, no dynamic visuals? Filming of books is sloppy.

Judge 1

Positives: Great important story! Kudos for telling it. This is a true gift to the family. Keep doing stories like this!

Improvements: Try to take a little more time working on the edits: the audio edits are very rough and the pacing between the VO and interview was very tight. Adding a little music would have helped you create moments of content pause - which gives the viewer a chance to reflect and feel the emotion of the story. I feel if you were to spend a little time working on the pacing and music, you will be blown away by final product.

Judge 2

Positives: Good story structure. Very personal story.

Improvements: Technical issues could have been better such as movement on stills and more variety of stock footage/stills.

Judge 3

Positives: The use of family photographs, maps and historical photos complements the interview. The subject is engaging and the filmmaker’s close relationship aids in his storytelling. The interview is well edited and flows flawlessly.

Improvements: While the voice over is well-written, it would be worth hiring an actor to read it. The text can be adapted to a more omniscient narrator or an actor could play the filmmaker, leaving the text as is. The film’s ending is abrupt and could use just a moment to digest the full story before a fade out or some other indicator of conclusion.

Judge 4

Positives:

Improvements: