Skootrz - ID# 495

Glenbrook South

Division: A

Seven Day Challenge

Entry Description

An insightful "documentary" about group of scooter riders

Recent Teacher Comments

Judge 1

Positives: All of your characters and actors were really funny. You did a great job of making each of them really have their own persona and juxtaposed them against one another. I liked that you guys used the mockumentary format and really went for it. It felt very original, and also let you explore more of the personalities of your characters, as well as their relationships to one another. Having other characters in the background while someone was talking to camera was really smart. The shot with Eddie's dad talking about the divorce while she's struggling down the ramp in the background was hilarious. It's also great when Trent is talking and you zoom in on Eddie watching in the background. You guys did a great job of taking advantage of the mockumentary form to create a very humorous atmosphere.

Improvements: I wanted the story to have higher stakes. I wasn't really sure why this competition mattered or why it was important. I totally understand that it was supposed to be a comedic mockumentary, but I wanted a little bit more motivation for the characters. I wanted to know what the consequences would be if they lost -- which would they explain why they wanted to win so badly. It just felt a little underdeveloped. It also felt like you could've built more tension throughout and had the competition sequence play more like an action movie sequence. I wanted to feel more of a build as to who was going to win. Also, if you had made that sequence feel really serious with the shooting, editing and the music, it might have been much funnier to see that none of them actually knew what they were doing.

Judge 2

Positives: Almost flawless execution of mockumentary style. Fun theme, very appropriate camera work, and great editing. Great use of blocking - especially the shot when the dad is talking about his divorce and his daughter is scooting down the ramp in the background - pure gold.

Improvements: Wasn't sure about how this relates to squirrels. Some of dialogue/monologue could have been improved. More Zooms! I loved the use of "Dramatic zoom" throughout the piece and just wanted more of it. Also, I think it would sell the mockumentary effect better if there were less tripod shots.

Judge 3

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Judge 4

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